The Curse of the Bodum French Press

My apologies for being so tardy in announcing my giveaway winner.  Our house has been hit with a sickness.  I love little babies, but I hate their germs.  Anyhow, congratulations to Anne B. who won the clutch purse.  Anne, I'll have it in the mail to you soon.

And now, a Christmas tale.

A few Christmases ago, I ordered a bunch of stuff from Crate and Barrel for Christmas gifts.  This huge box came filled with Christmas goodies.  Being that it was a few weeks before Christmas, I stored the box in a corner unopened.  That is online shopping mistake #1.  When you order something online, always, always, always open the box straight away.  You always want to check and make sure that you have the correct item or that the items aren't broken.

About a week before Christmas, I set out to wrap all of my gifts.  I opened the huge Crate and Barrel box and started pulling out a bunch of gifts.  I got to the bottom of the box and noticed two items that I hadn't ordered.  They were two Bodum french presses.

I was very confused as everything that I had purchased was already taken out of the box.  What were these extra french presses doing in there?  Also, I don't drink a lick of coffee.  I absolutely loathe the stuff so I had no need of a fancy coffee maker.  I immediately called Crate and Barrel.  The conversation with customer service went something like this:

Me: My order number is XXX.  I received everything in my order but also was sent two Bodum french presses that I do not want.
Customer Service: Let me look up your order.  No, there is nothing listed in your order that says you were sent a french press.
Me: Okay.  Except I just opened the box and there were two french presses in the box.
Customer Service: Really?  Are you sure they were in the same box?
Me: Uh…yes…I didn't take them out of another large Crate and Barrel box.
Customer Service: We have no record of sending them to you.
Me: Okay, well I have two of them that you sent me.  Is there a way that I can return them?
Customer Service: You can ship them back to us.
Me: I don't want to pay shipping for two items that I never ordered.  Can you have UPS do a pickup?
Customer Service: No, you will have to pay to send them back.  We will expect to receive them in 5 business days.
Me: What if I don't send them back?
Customer Service: Okay, that's fine too.  But if you didn't pay for them then you can't keep them.
Me: Okay so do you want to pick them up from me?  I just don't think I should have to pay to send them back to you when I never ordered them in the first place.
Customer Service: Well you can either not send them back and keep something you didn't pay for or you can send them back to us.

Leave it to Crate and Barrel's customer service to put me in a moral dilemma.  Do I unwittingly steal the french presses simply because I'm too lazy and cheap to send them back?  The answer to that question is yes.

I never sent them back and always felt bad.  One I gave away as a gift and the other I kept in my apartment because I had no other way of making coffee, and Mike liked to drink coffee.  I think he used it 3 times.  Now we have this french press box in our pantry cupboard that causes me a pang of guilt when I see it sitting there.

Fast forward to last week when I ordered a gift for my niece from Amazon.  I used our Amazon Prime account (which BTW, Amazon Prime sucks) and two days later this rather small box came to our door. I knew it had to be the aforementioned gift because I had not ordered anything else, but the box was so small.  I quickly opened it up because I no longer violate online shopping mistake #1 and gasped as I saw a Bodum French Press staring back at me.  It was like Bob Marley had come for me.

This had to be some sick joke.  I emailed with amazon's customer service and explained the mix-up.  They told me they were very sorry and would send me the item I ordered immediately.

"Okay, thank you," I wrote, "but what do I do with the french press?"

"You can ship it back to us," was their reply.

I still haven't decided what to do.  I definitely don't want another french press giving me guilt from the kitchen cupboards, but I also don't think that I should have to pay to ship something back to a retailer that I did not want in the first place.

What are the odds, though, that this would happen to a person more than once?  I understand that wrong items are shipped all the time, but the SAME wrong item?  This is a Christmas tradition that I could definitely do without.

The Million Dollar Dog

Let me explain what you are seeing here.  This is a dog laying in a bed wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts.  Here is the story of why our dog had to wear a t-shirt and boxer shorts.  Spoiler alert: he liked wearing clothes and he's allergic to everything (he's even allergic to the clothes that he's wearing).

At some point in our first year of owning Kirby we started noticing that he was chewing on his tail.  We tried to stop it, but we came home one day to find that he had chewed off a huge patch of hair on his tail.  Then we started noticing these sores all up and down his belly.  The first diagnosis was that he was bored or suffering from separation anxiety and that the chewing and excessive licking would stop eventually.

From that point on, the chewing and licking increased and the sores kept returning.  The pattern would start with us noticing an increase in licking and chewing, usually Kirby would run off to another part of the house so we wouldn't stop him.  Then he would get these dry patches or hot spots all over his skin.  Then those patches would start turning red and then black.  The sores would spread rapidly over his belly, groin, legs, thighs, and chest.  It was awful.  He was on medication all of the time.  He started learning that if he made a swallowing motion we would think he had swallowed his medication, and then he'd go spit it out in a corner somewhere.  We tried Neosporin on the sores, but he just ate most of it off of himself.  We sprayed him with hydrocortisone lotion and he hated it.  We tried fish oil pills and would hide it in his food.  If we hid the capsule he would simply eat around it, if we put the oil on the food he might not eat it.  Our last resort was to have Kirby wear clothes while he was in the house.  He actually loved it.

Finally this summer we were told that they were seeing a pattern to his itching and licking.  They thought it could be allergies and recommended we take him into a doggie dermatologist for an allergy test.  

We had his appointment set for this Tuesday.  Both Mike and I were anxious to find out what was wrong with the dog.  If it were allergies, then there was a treatment for him that is effective in 70% of dogs.  We had been warned that it could be expensive, but it would help him out in the long run.  

The doggie dermatologist gave Kirby a light sedation and then shaved a patch of his fur off and proceeded to prick him with about 70 different allergens.  After 30 minutes we had our results…Kirby is highly allergic to everything.  Okay, not everything but almost everything.  The vet said she had only ever seen a couple of dogs be as highly allergic as Kirby.  Here is the list of things Kirby is allergic to: dust (he's living in the wrong house for that), cotton (so his clothes were actually hurting him when we thought it was helping), all weeds, all grass (so all of that grass eating and rolling was killing him), and all trees (he also likes to eat leaves).  Basically it's hard for him to be indoors and outdoors.  As if he wasn't high maintenance enough!

We left the vet with this fun assortment of items:

This consists of two different sets of allergy shot serum, ear flush, ear drops, prednisone, multiple different types of needles, and a biohazard container for the needles.  All for a dog.  Oh, and remember how they told us it was going to be expensive?  Because Kirby is allergic to everything they had to double the allergy serum and so it will be double the expensiveness.  Oh Kirby.  Since Brigid has been born he has reminded us that he will always be more work than a baby.  But we love him anyways.

And after his big day, he got special cuddles from his favorite gal pal.  

As you can see, these two are working on their relationship.  Kirby looks thrilled, right?

Frugality

I am not a cheap person.  I like to indulge, oh boy, can I indulge.  My love for indulging has forced me to realize that if I want to indulge, I have to be frugal.  One of the top lessons I have learned as an adult is that I have to prioritize my expenses.  Would I rather have a new Louis Vuitton purse or go on a second vacation in a year?  Would I rather have a new fence installed in my backyard or go out to a grand dinner at a new hotspot?  You know you are an old person when your answer is: Fence!!  I want the fence!

Here are some of my favorite lessons on how to be frugal without being a cheap ass:

1.  Energy Saving = Money Saving.  Duh, right.  I remember when I was in elementary school they did this whole "energy awareness" thing where they  handed out books about a girl whose parents got mad at her because she always left lights on and left the water running when she was brushing her teeth.  What a bitch!  Now that I pay my own energy bills, I have converted all of my lights to CFL bulbs and try to keep lights off as much as possible.  Candlelight is so much more soothing.  I also turn the heat and air conditioning temps down (or up) at night and during the day while we are gone.  Right now, our heat goes down to 62 degrees at night and during the day and up to 68 degrees when we are at home in the evening and on weekends.  During the winter, this saves us about $50 per month.  Another thing that I try to do is unplug appliances when not in use.  This is one of those things that I often forget about, but apparently it can make a difference in your energy bill.  I've never noticed a huge difference when I've done this, though.

2. Desk lunch.  Bringing a lunch to work can be a real drag.  Sometimes I just don't feel like packing anything up and other days I just don't want to eat anything that we have in the house.  When I started wedding planning, I knew that I had to save money somehow and I resolved to only go out for lunch once a week.  I've stuck to this for at least a year and have to say that I can see the difference in my savings account.  It's still a struggle some days.  Eating at your desk can be lonely.  I live for that one day when I get to go to a restaurant and socialize.

3. Credit Card Rewards.  There are lots of credit card rewards programs that offer shoppers little incentives.  My credit card allows you to earn points towards travel vouchers or restaurant/clothing store/gas station gift certificates.  There are the famous airline credit cards for frequent fliers.  My husband's credit card has an amazing reward that for every $2500 you spend and pay off you get a $25 gift card.  We usually use these gift cards on our grocery bills and the combination of those gift cards and our wedding gift cards, we have paid maybe $20/week for groceries for the past three months.  It's definitely worth investigating all of the different reward programs to see if one will work for you.

4.  Pre-gift buying.  I start thinking about gift-giving way in advance of the celebration day.  For Christmas, I keep a list of people I need to buy for and ideas.  I usually start looking at this list in September and try to have ideas for everyone by October 1.  That way I can try to find the items on sale or take advantage of coupons.  I usually can get really great gifts on a limited budget.  I also utilize websites such as Rue La La and Groupon to stock up on gifts for birthdays or other occasions.  Having a stockpile of fun gifts for people makes my life a lot easier.

5.  Ebates.  If you don't use ebates, you are selling yourself short.  Har har.  Seriously, though, ebates is amazing.  Go to ebates.com and sign up if you don't have an account with them.  There are hundreds of retail websites that use ebates and they each have a different percentage off.  So, if I want to buy something at JCrew, I got to ebates first, search for JCrew and go to the JCrew website through the ebates site.  Currently the JCrew website gets 3.0% cash back.  After you make your purchase, your ebates account is credited.  Every four months, a check is sent to your home with the total of your cash back.  After Christmas this year, I received $85 cash back because I did all of my shopping online.  It really pays off, as long as you don't forget to go to the ebates website first before you start your online shopping.  I have forgotten this dozens of times!

6.  Track your spending.  I don't really budget, but I have a set dollar amount that I want to save each month.  I then track every penny spent on a spreadsheet so that I can make sure I can save my goal.  For me, this makes me think about each purchase that I make.  Before I splurge on something, or even before I buy a $10 frame at Target, I have to stop and think about whether I really want it or whether I'd rather see an extra $10 saved that month. 

7.  Big box stores.  When Mike and I moved in together, we talked about getting a Sam's Club membership.  One of the big arguments against it was that why do two people need to buy things in bulk?  Eventually we got a membership and it has saved us a lot of money.  We buy all of our cleaning supplies, household necessities and more packaged foods (like oatmeal, granola bars, nuts, spices) at Sam's.  They are ridiculously cheaper than at other stores.  Plus, it saves me from a lot of extra trips to Target.  I used to have to go to Target at least once a week for some household item, now I go to Sam's maybe once a month. 

8.  Spare change.  Mike and I have a central spot where we dump our spare change.  It's a big tupperware bowl in our spare bedroom.  Once that sucker gets full we take it to the bank and cash it in.  Usually it's about $70+ and we maybe take it to the bank twice a year.  What we've done in the past is take it in right before we go on a vacation and use it as spending money. 

Those are my (not so) original ways that I save my pennies.  The only thing I love more than watching my bank account grow is a chocolate frosted donut.

Moving Towards Transition

Sometimes Christmas can get the best of a person...as it did me this year.  Prior to our wedding, which was October 19, things were crazy busy.  I was overwhelmed.  People kept asking how they could help or what tasks they could do, but it wasn't the amount of things it was a general feeling of disorganization and the sense that there was no way to organize it. 

The absolute worst day for me was the day before our wedding.  Our house was an absolute disaster.  We had one of Mike's coworkers staying at our house the night of the wedding to take care of Kirby.  Mike's friends were going to be getting ready at our house prior to the wedding.  One of Mike's good friends was going to be staying at our house the week after the wedding while we were on our honeymoon.  I was mortified that these people were going to see my house.  I can't even explain the mortification of it.  It is something that I actually have to repress deep down inside of me and totally forget because the pain of remembering how dirty our house was and how many people saw it like that might kill me.  At the time, though, there was no time for me to clean it.  I was working full-time, nights were taken up with wedding appointments; it was a disaster. 

Before the wedding I kept thinking that once we were back from San Francisco, everything would calm down and I could just spend my nights and weekends nesting away.  This just didn't happen.  My days at work were spent in frantic disarray.  Work was busy.  I came in early, left late and didn't take lunch breaks.  Then I went on a girls' weekend trip.  Mid-November, Mike was gone for a week long training in Alabama and I decided to deep clean the house.  Serenity now.  Right?  Wrong.

When Mike got back I realized that Christmas was a mere month away.  Our thank you cards were not finished, I hadn't even considered Christmas gifts for anyone, only a few wedding gifts were put away, work was still busy...  This started a month long frenzy of the holidays.  I worked long hours at finishing the thank you cards.  Almost immediately afterwards I started working on our Christmas cards.  I spent two days ordering multiple gifts online only to have some orders not go through or others be back ordered.  We put up our holiday decorations, but still had stacks of boxes of wedding presents that needed to be put away. 

What I'm trying to get at is that my soul is exhausted.  The last few months have been the best as I've been enjoying newlywed bliss, but all of that fun and excitement has left me tired and aching for calm.  I've spent the beginning of this month in various states of relaxation and it's been nice.  Slowly I've been getting my motivation back and I'm feeling better about tackling life.  Yay! 

Do You See What I See?

Weirdest Christmas decoration EVER.  What the eff is going on here?  How does this stuff pass through quality control?  Because this decoration was actually found at a very upscale store where snowman fellatio does not fly.

I would be great at quality control because I can spot innuendo a mile away.  You can't tell me that the creator of this piece didn't know what they were doing.  They always know.  Besides, what is the alternative here?  That someone created a sculpture of a snowman making another snowman?

Back Fat

You might wonder why a post titled back fat has photos of puppies on it.  It's because I feel like when you are talking about something as upsetting as back fat, it's nice to look at puppies. 

See...I have back fat.  OMG I HAVE BACK FAT.  I'M FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT.  AHHHHH.  Oh wait, puppies.

Okay that's better.  Except, I seriously have back fat.  Or at least haunches that resemble back fat in strapless dresses and some ill-fitting bras.  OMG.  I CAN'T HAVE BACK FAT.  MY WEDDING DRESS IS STRAPLESS AND IT SQUEEZES MY BACK TOGETHER SO THAT IT SHOWS MY BACK FAT.  I'm seriously freaking out about it.  Holy holiness, I'm so upset.  Oh, look at that, puppies.

Nothing helps as much as puppies. 

But seriously, I am a petite person.  I weigh a little more than I like, but generally speaking when I look at myself in the mirror undressed, I am not unhappy.  However, sometimes I see photos of myself from the backside and I'm like what the frick is that jiggly jiggliness? 

Lately I've noticed it more and more.  In wedding preparation, I bought a set of five pound weights and have been working really hard, but it's mostly my arms that you can see the difference in.  That back fat still lingers.  Wow, does that back fat linger. 

I guess all I'm here to say is that getting rid of your jiggly jigglebits in the back end is really difficult.  I think the secret is in the pilates swimming stroke, but I do that for a few seconds and I'm in agony and I'm bored.  So, don't judge my back fat.  Now I'm off to look at lots more pictures of puppies.

Fever

Do you all remember that feeling you'd get in school right before the holidays?  That crazy,wild abandonment where you couldn't actually do any learning because you were so excited for vacation and presents and all the candy you could eat.  I loved how the teachers surrendered to the fact that no one was paying attention and did Christmas arts and crafts or extra story time or secret santa stuff. 

I'm feeling like that times a million-bajillion because I'm getting married in 2.5 weeks.  And I'm not paying attention to anyone or anything.  I just can't wait.  I can't wait for the wedding, I can't wait to see how all of the planning has turned out, I can't wait to dance the night away with friends, I can't wait for people to see my dress, I can't wait to be Mike's wife.  Mostly the last one.  Mike and I are so excited to be married, we can hardly contain ourselves.  Unfortunately, work isn't giving me a pass like my school teachers did.  Concentrating these next two weeks is going to be difficult.

Which is why this morning was so weird.  First off this morning, I looked in the front pocket of my work bag and didn't see my work keycard or office keys.  Panic!  I looked in my bag and there they were, safe and sound.  I grabbed them to deposit into the front pocket where they belong.  Next, I get to work and am walking up the bridge to my building when I hear this loud screaming man say: "STOP THE TRUCK!  STOP THE TRUCK!  I'M STILL FUCKING BACK HERE!"  It was this really panicked voice too.  So, I turn to my right and notice that this semi-truck is barreling up the bridge with the back gate open and a man leaning out trying to get the driver's attention.  He was literally screaming at him all the way up the bridge.  It was so scary. 

When I finally get to the crosswalk at the top of the bridge, the semi-truck was nowhere to be seen.  I start fishing in my front pocket to find my keys and can't find them.  Which was impossible because they had to be there!  But, they were not.  They weren't in my bag anywhere.  I have no idea what I did with them this morning.  Organization fail.  Luckily, I knew the deputy that was working the front door and he let me in without my keys. 

When I got up to my desk, I put my lunch and can of diet coke into the refrigerator that is in the hallway outside my workspace.  I do this every day.  At lunchtime, I went to retrieve my goodies and someone had stolen my diet coke.  That is shameful.  Honestly, downright terrible.  I wrote a note to the person about how I am a woman on the edge and they just stole the last bit of my sanity.  It made me feel better, but I didn't put it on the fridge, I just threw it away.

So, yes, today has been a random day.  And nothing has helped my insane wedding fever.

Plagues

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but I've been sick.  AND I FEEL SOOOOOOOO SICK.  I hate being such a baby, but I do not take the sniffles well.  So, I took a couple of days off of work because my boss is on vacation and I thought laying on my couch would make me feel infinitely better.  But, it did not!  I just felt lazy and stressed and depressed.

I watched a lot of TV.  The Food Channel cracks me up.  Have y'all ever watched the show $10 Dollar Dinners?  What the eff is going on with that show?  First, the lady host talks about her rice cooker in every episode.  I've seen the show only 3-4 times, but in every show she's made rice, dressed it up by adding onions, and mentioned that she loves her rice cooker and got it for $5 at a drugstore.  First, why are you talking about this in every episode?  Also, why would you buy a rice cooker at a drugstore?  Finally, I would have to disagree with her on buying cheap appliances.  I will give a good rule of thumb, an appliance should cost more than $20.  Cheap appliances are cheap for a reason.

But at least the $10 Dollar Dinners lady pretends to cook.  Unlike Sandra Lee, who totally enjoys doing as little cooking as possible.  Her show makes me cringe worse than Paula Deen's voice.  Yesterday she was making fish tacos and had come up with a decoration for your platter.  She suggested taking Post-It notes in various colors, shredding the ends with a scissor so it looked like fringe and then sticking it to the platter.  It looked like crizzap.  Plus, the taco recipe was to fry tilapia chunks, warm up tortillas, put cabbage on the tortillas, put the fish on the tacos and put a sour cream mix on top.  Folks, come to my kitchen every week and I will show you a better taco recipe than this.  Then she was making tamales, but didn't want to spend the money on the cornhusks, so was just wrapping up beans and corn mixture into parchment paper.  Bobby Flay would probably die if he saw that.  

I also had the privilege of watching most of the first season of Gossip Girl.  Oh Lord, was that show great.  The tragedy of Gossip Girl is that it had really bad timing.  For example, they didn't introduce Vanessa at the right time which killed her whole character.  Vanessa was introduced in the 6th or 7th episode, right after Dan and Serena got together.  She was a buzzkill and had nothing compelling to offer except being a thorn in Dan and Serena's relationship.  They should have introduced her in episode 1 or in Season 2.  

Anyways, I feel better and am hoping to get back on track the next few days.  Does anyone know a fool proof way of keeping colds away?  I have one month until the wedding and need to stay a healthy bee until then.   

Wild Horses

I have been feeling a bit like a wild and out of control stallion lately.  Except it's not nearly as fun as the horses make it seem.  I knew that there would come a time in the wedding planning process where I felt like everything was just running wild.  I didn't expect to come at the same time when work was a hot mess.  Such is life.

So, with work being constant and wedding stuff being busy (I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, it's definitely a fun busy), there are several things that I have allowed to slip through the cracks.  The weirdest part is that I don't care.  I'm in a very go with the flow mood and I am not a good time gal, that's for damn sure.

First, I don't think I've made the bed in weeks.  Which isn't that huge of a deal, except that sleeping in an unmade bed normally bothers me.  A few weeks ago, Kirby had a moment and destroyed our comforter.  I picked up all of the stuffing, but wasn't able to sew the holes back together for a couple of weeks.  At that point, I figured why bother making the bed?  And now that the comforter is fixed I'm still feeling like I just don't care.  For the record, Kirby felt great shame at what he did.  See...

The second thing that I've been letting slip is cooking dinners.  Mike and I had been really good about making dinner every night of the week.  The last couple of weeks, however, I have had zero motivation to make anything.  I love cooking, but right now it seems like such a chore. 

I also have totally let the garden go to the dogs.  I haven't watered in a week or so, I haven't gone out to weed in a month.  Our grass is so brown and crunchy that I'm sure our neighbors are wondering what is wrong with us.  I love having a garden, but since the wedding stuff amped up I couldn't justify spending so much time on it.  I also have to say that I never realized how fast the weed situation could get out of control.  Until next year weeds.

Argh.  Normally this stuff would drive me nuts.  But, right now I'm too busy in other areas of  my life to care all that much.  I've decided that I need to set some "After Wedding Goals" to get myself back into the swing of real life.  Starting on October 28 I will:

• Make the bed again.
• Vacuum at least once a week.
• Cook one new recipe once a week.
• Spend extra cuddle time with Kirby, who has taken being ignored like a champ.
• Spend more time with my family.



You Can Buy Crap

Have you ever been in a store where you see something that truly blows your mind?  I often have that experience when I go into Menards.  Menards is awesome.  You can buy ANYTHING at Menards.  Need a book, come to Menards.  Need some paintbrushes, come to Menards.  Need candy, or tulip bulbs, or Halloween decorations...come to MENARDS.  Seriously, they have everything you need and everything that you don't want. 

Here's an example:

Need a toilet seat cover with jumping trout on it?  Just head on over to Menards and you can find one.  Nothing will beautify and modernize your bathroom more than this.  It's a Fashion Soft Seat.

Oh wait, you're more of a woodsy person.  Well, you are in luck because Menards also carries these:

A toilet seat cover with timber wolves!  Gorgeous!  And MADE IN USA! 

Of course, if you find yourself having a difficult time deciding between the two, just buy both.  You won't regret it. 

Who buys this crap?

Olympic Dreams

I am Olympic obsessed.  Like, staying up way too late every night so that I'm crabby and irritable the entire next day obsessed.  I've always loved watching the Olympic games and I think one of the reasons why I'm so obsessed now is the nostalgia.  I have specific memories of past Olympic games.  I remember watching the Atlanta games gymnastics in the living room with my mom, I also remember being so excited to find out who won the women's figure skating in Nagano that I asked to use the bathroom pass during a high school class and snuck to the library to use their internet.  This was back in the dial up days where it would take FOREVER to download a webpage.  BTW, it was Tara Lipinski who beat out Michelle Kwan.

I know a lot of people dream of winning Olympic gold, but I've always dreamed of winning Olympic silver.  I aim high, folks.

I just have always thought that the silver medal is much prettier than all of the other medals and on the podium it really stands out.  The gold and the bronze medal look so similar that you can barely tell them apart from afar.  Plus, I prefer silver jewelry and if I were ever to win an Olympic medal, I'd totally be wearing it as a necklace everyday.  So, silver wins.

This philosophy of mine is one of the reasons I could never be an Olympian.  I have no competitive spirit.  None.  Zero.  Zilch.  You want to be better than me at something?  I will actually step aside and allow it because silver medals really aren't that bad.

When I was a young girl, I played on our city softball league and I was actually decent.  I could hit better than most of the girls in the league and I was an alright catcher.  However, I really didn't enjoy the defensive side of the game and so when I wasn't playing catcher, I was usually put in right field.  Ten-year-old girls aren't very good at hitting into the outfield and, even if they did, the ball almost never makes it to right field.  So, I would drive my parents crazy by spending my right field days picking dandelions and dancing.  I really didn't care about keeping my head in the game, I just wanted to have fun.

This attitude further hindered me in law school where everyone was so focused on getting A's that they would give up every morsel of their spare time to do it.  Other students would spend hours going and talking to professors to get hints at what would be on the final.  They would also play a grand social game which included at least weekly happy hours, joining student clubs and hobnobbing with their mentor attorney.  The ones who were the best at it often times were rewarded with great jobs.  Then there was me.  I did well in law school classes receiving a few A's and A-'s, a lot of B+'s and a few B's and B-'s.  I also worked through the majority of law school both at law firms, legal editing companies and retail stores.  However, while others were spending their time out at social functions, I was at home studying and watching Friends. 

But, I'm happy.  So, that's the silver lining.

Secret Garden

My gardens have been amazing this summer. I've had some fails.  My anemones haven't flowered yet, I planted 12 morning glories and only one is still climbing the fence, the celosia and double impatiens that I planted are dying for reasons unknown to me.  However, the victories have far outweighed all the things that have gone wrong.  Take a peek:

First came the tulips.  I had tons this year.  This pretty pink and white one was my favorite!

Next came the peonies.  I love peonies and the flowers did not disappoint this year.

Then the day lilies started going.  We have 5 different day lily plants and 2 regular lilies.  Our neighborhood bunny rabbit ate one of the lilies early this spring, so that one didn't make it to bloom this year.  The red ones are my favorites.

Finally, we come to my favorite part of gardening, the produce.  The previous owners of our house planted numerous raspberry bushes in one side garden.  They are awesome.  They are both spring producing and "fall" producing, so we had an abundance of raspberries this spring until early July and now the "fall" raspberries have started.  Here's a sampling of the crop:

Awesome, right.  It's funny because we found out that Kirby is obsessed with raspberries.  Every time I'd bring my pickings into the house he'd go nuts trying to sniff them.  Mike finally looked up whether dogs could eat raspberries and the internets said they were actually good for dogs, so we gave him one as a treat and he was obsessed.  Now when we really want to get his attention we say "Raspberry" and he sits immediately.

We also planted grape tomatoes and peppers. 

We have had insane luck with both the tomatoes and peppers.  Our grape tomato plant actually toppled over during a windstorm.  We were never able to get it to stand up again, so now it's literally laying in the dirt, but still producing grape tomatoes. 

For the peppers, we went a little bit nuts.  We planted 32 pepper plants.  We have peppers coming out of our ears at this point.  Mike and I both like spicy food, so we use peppers in everything.  Because of the heat this summer, the peppers have thrived and are way more intense than they normally would be.  We have these little red peppers called super chiles that are so hot.  I am scared to taste our habaneros. 

With all of the wedding planning, gardening has been a great way to relax.  I love going outside with Mike and watering or picking the peppers and raspberries.  BTW, if anyone needs peppers, please let me know!



Those Stamps Don't Go With My Outfit

In college, my friend Kara swears that one day I asked her for a piece of gum and when she asked me why I told her that chewing gum would really go with my outfit.  Which I don't remember, but don't deny because it's totally something that I would say. 

Which is why these stamps are really pissing me off.

Allow me to explain.  In a couple of months, I will be sending out the invitations for the wedding.  With the wedding, I really wanted to create an ambiance that said "modern fall preppy."  The invites are the first thing that people will see for the wedding, so I really wanted it to evoke the feeling of the wedding.  I ended up having the invites custom done (I will blog about these details after the wedding in a post that is much more cheery because the invites turned out AWESOME) so that the colors and design would be exactly right. 

I can't show you the invites until after the wedding, but I will describe them as bright, colorful and most definitely modern and preppy. 

So, today I toddled over to the U.S. Post Office to get stamps for my modern, preppy and beautiful invitations.  First, they weighed the invite and gave me some pretty wedding appropriate .65 cent stamps.  Perfect!  Next, I gave them the RSVP card and said that I will need postcard stamps for that.  The cashier measured it and said that yes, indeed, I could use the .32 cent stamps for the RSVP cards.

One problem.  The .32 cent stamps only come in one, tacky design.  Aloha, Hawaiian shirts!  Are you freaking kidding me???  I couldn't believe that this was the ONLY option.  I asked if they just had the standard flag .32 cent stamp, but they don't.  They only have postcard stamps in Hawaiian shirts. 

I realize the need to be logical here.  A regular stamp is .45 cents and I need 150 of them, so I'm saving .13 cents per stamp.  I realize that spending .13 cents more for a stamp just because of the design is not thrifty.  But, holy Hannah, could you find some design that was a bit more generic?

The Post Office employee told me that the "rational bride" would go for cost saving over aesthetics.  I felt like I was being lectured at the post office, so I bought them.  Now I'm having buyer's remorse. 

Please tell me, how terrible are these stamps? 

Storm Warning

The other night some major storms rolled through the city and from what I can tell, most people slept through them.  There were so many trees down in the city that I live in that several roads were closed until the debris could be cleared.  How do we sleep through that?

The picture above shows our neighbors large tree that topped over.  Part of it was on their car, but, luckily, it didn't do any real damage.  I was really bummed about this tree because every spring it gives off the most beautiful white flowers. 

The other thing that happened is our neighbors that I have previously RAD'd ended up with a tree branch through their windshield.  See...

Is it bad that I had mixed feelings of sadness and smugness?  I was sort of like, well, maybe if you parked in  your driveway this wouldn't have happened to you!

I was just really glad that we had no home or car damage.  That was a relief.  We were out of power in our home in the morning, which made getting ready for work an interesting challenge.  It started off with a candlelit shower and ended with me braiding up my still sopping wet hair into something that looked semi-decent for work.  I always think it's funny when the power goes out and you keep trying to do things that require power and are confused when they don't work.  For instance, I kept turning on lights and my first thought when the lights didn't come on was "The light bulb burned out!"  It was a great start to the morning.

Money-crap-ball

Lately, one of my favorite activities is at-home movie night.  I just love being at home in my pajamas, putting out some great movie snacks, cuddling with Kirby and Mike on the couch and popping in our latest Netflix pick.  This past weekend, we watched Moneyball, which will now forever be known to me as The Most Boring Movie Ever Made. 

The first 40 minutes go something like this: long, lingering shot of a dark Oakland A's stadium with deep, thoughtful music being played; cut to Brad Pitt as Billy Beane sitting in the Oakland A's stadium thinking; you can tell he's thinking because of the music; now cut to some flashbacks of A's games; they are losing Johnny Damon, some other juicehead and another guy I've never heard of; you can tell this is bad by the somber look on Billy Beane's face and the music that's being played...what's that you say, it's been 10 minutes without any dialogue; now we get dialogue, a bunch of men fighting with zippy one-liners; 1 minute of dialogue is enough, let's get more shots of the stadium, Billy Beane working out, and Billy Beane walking down a long hallway, and add in some really pensive music; okay now let's get to Jonah Hill and sure, we'll throw in a couple of minutes of dialogue between Jonah and Billy Beane, but only TWO MINUTES; here's Jonah waddling down the long hallway to the A's offices he is pensive and so is the music; a little bit more dialogue ending with a zippy one-liner; and now Billy Beane and Jonah looking at clips of baseball players.

This shit was more boring than all of Gram's scenes on Dawson's Creek COMBINED.  I was tortured while watching it.  For any of you who haven't yet seen it, just wikipedia it and save yourself the 2 hours and 20 minutes that it will take to watch it.  It's not that awesome of a story, the performances are nothing spectacular and the music isn't as good as the Facebook movie.  So, there Moneyball, I thought you sucked.

For the record, the snacks above clockwise from top are: a mix of Sno-Caps and Whoppers; Zen Party Mix from Target; microwave popcorn.

Pesky Butt Glands

Poor Kirby was horrified and embarrassed to learn this last Saturday that we was afflicted with some swollen ass glands.  His little butt was feeling pretty bad.  We first noticed it after he wouldn't stop licking his butthole.  I mean, it's normal to do that every few hours or so, but this was a constant butt licking.  We kept looking at his butthole, feeling like weirdos, but nothing was swollen.

I talked to my dad and he phone diagnosed it as swollen anal glands.  Dogs can, apparently, get these every now and again.  He said to wait and see if it pops on its own, but that if he starts scooting his ass across my rugs that we would need to extract the gland otherwise the chance of him getting anal gland fluid all over the rug was highly possible.  My dad said that if anal gland fluid got on my rugs, we'd probably want to throw them right in the trash.  Duh!

After our evening walk, little Kirby seemed distressed and started scooting his butt all over my carpet.  I told him to stop what he was doing and immediately phoned my dad who was in the middle of grilling dinner, but still helped me learn how you extract the anal glands from your dog's rear.  After my phone instructions, I told Mike how to perform the procedure and coaxed Kirby with treats while Mike got his rubber gloves.

On a side note, my dog will not notice anything if he has treats.  He was so excited about being able to eat multiple milkbones in one sitting that he literally didn't notice that Mike was doing anything to him.  How could you not notice, Kirby?  Anyhow, I will not describe what happened except to say that I am so glad that shit didn't end up on the carpet and Mike is a very sweet dog daddy. 

And dear little Kirby, well, after the procedure, he was feeling much better.  He took a long sleep on the couch and kept putting his paws over his face like he couldn't believe the last couple of hours.  I couldn't believe it either. 

Avenge This

This past summer, Mike, myself and Mike's dad went to the fair city of Cleveland, Ohio.  We went there to watch a baseball game, Go Twins.  Mike and his dad love to go to baseball games in different cities and see all the different fields.  It was a fun mini-trip that had a lot of surprises for us.  The first being that after we arrived at our hotel in downtown Cleveland, we were walking to lunch and literally stumbled upon a real, live movie set!  How random and awesome is that?  


The Avengers was filming in Cleveland and had set up shop on a one-block street.  It was so weird to see a movie set like this.  It's apparently the scene of a great battle as is evidenced by the smashed car below.  Plus, I always thought a movie set would be swarming with security so that you could not get anywhere near close to it.  Not so in Cleveland!  You just stood at police tape and took as many pictures as you want.  I went back to the scene multiple times during our trip, but always missed filming...and Chris Hemsworth.  Bummer.

On our last day, the movie set was very altered.  They must have filmed a bunch of explosions the day before, look at that debris!  The cars were all real, but the rest of the large building pieces were foam.  It's amazing how real the pieces look in pictures because in person they were almost comically fake.

On a separate street, we found a lineup of NYPD cars and other cars that would probably be blown up the next day.  This reminded me of MGM Studios Lights! Motors! Action! stunt show.  

I actually can't wait to see The Avengers.  In the previews, there are a lot of scenes that look like they were filmed on this street in Cleveland, so I'm excited to see what the final product looks like.  It was so much fun to go into a random city and find something like this.  Yay Cleveland!

Doom Day

Last Friday was Friday the 13th. I had a really crappy day. First, I was working at one of our suburban locations. I won't name the suburb, but it's not my favorite place to be. However, the days problems didn't start until lunchtime. You see, I go home at lunch Monday through Thursday to be with the coonhound. Friday is my one day to have a nice, relaxing lunch period. I normally prefer to spend it at the fancy hotel restaurant that's a block away from my office, but on Friday the 13th, I wasn't at my normal office so I was forced into the fast food chain hell of the suburbs.

My closest option was Chipotle. However, when I pulled into the parking lot I found that the line was out the door. Chipotle is good, but it's also a burrito. I won't wait more than 15 minutes for that shit. Has anyone else noticed that at lunchtime if you don't get to Chipotle at 11:57, you have to wait at least 20 minutes to order? So, I decided to make my way to the Macy's Marketplace. When I got to the Marketplace, there was only one person working the counter and five golden oldies in line ahead of me. Old people are the worst at a fast food restaurant. They take all the convenience out of it. What you're left with is a slow food restaurant. I had no patience for these old-timers and left after the second one in line started asking for samples of the Baked Potato soup. She wanted to know what it tasted like; I'll give you a hint blue hair, it tastes like potatoes and bacon in a creamy broth. (P.S. please assist me on my use of the semicolon).

By the time I left Macy's, it was 12:25 p.m. and I thought the line at Chipotle would have to be more manageable, so I drove back. This time I actually parked my car in the lot. As I was walking towards the door, two men with multiple neck tattoos and face piercings passed me on their way to their car. Right as they passed me, I noticed that the burrito line was still out the door. Infuriated, I stomped back to my car. As I angrily turned the key in the ignition and backed out of my space, I realized that the tattooed men were also backing out of their space a few cars away from me. However, we were backing out in opposite directions and so were facing each other with no room to move. Technically, I was the first person fully backed out, so I thought the appropriate thing for Tattoos to do was move his car and allow me to pass him. However, Tattoos was not a giving person and we had a parking lot standoff. I finally threw my hands up in the air and rolled my eyes while pulling back into my space. Yes, it was snotty, but I was hungry and annoyed.

What happened next shocked me. Tattoos drove behind my car and stopped, trapping me into my parking space. Then he got out of his car and screamed "What's your problem, stupid bitch." He didn't linger long, just kind of laughed and got back into his car.

My first reaction was to cry and call Mike. Upon later reflection I kept thinking how much I wanted to get out of my car and tell him off. I know a thing or two about being a bitch, and I was not being a bitch when I threw my hands in the air, rolled my eyes and pulled back into my parking space so that he could pass me. No sir, that isn't what bitches do.

The incident also reminded me of a valuable line in Tina Fey's Bossypants: “A coworker at SNL dropped an angry c-bomb on me and i had the weirdest reaction. To my surprise, I blurted, 'No. You don't get to call me that. My parents love me! I'm not some Adult Child of an Alcoholic that's going to take that shit.'" If only I had half the gumption of Tina Fey.

By the time I had calmed down, it was 12:45 p.m.. I was hungry and had to be back at work in 15 minutes. Mike suggested I go to the CVS right across the street. When I got there, the only things that looked good to me were Cheez-Its, Skittles and Sno-Caps. So, after 50 minutes of trying to get a lunch, the best I could come up with was empty calories. I'm hoping my next Friday the 13th isn't quite so terrible.

Nosy Nelly

Does anyone else love spying on their neighbors? I use the word spy in a loose sense. What I'm talking about is fascination with neighbors that results in excessive curiosity. Does anyone else experience this?

When I was a kid, there was a family that lived behind us who did the weirdest things. My mom and I would creepily watch them out the windows and talk and talk about what they were up to. For instance, instead of walking their dog in the summer, they would let him out into the yard and then stand on the deck with a mirror so the dog could chase the sun's rays reflecting off the mirror. Or, they wouldn't cut their grass for 4-5 weeks in the summer and then the husband would come out on the hottest day of the year at 2:00 P.M. in sweatpants and a sweatshirt to cut it. It would take hours because the grass was so long and he looked like he was going to have a heart attack. They were strange.

Now that I'm in my own house, I've found my fascination with neighbors is still enthusiastic. Just a few weeks ago a neighbor sent out an email to the association asking for realtor recommendations because he was moving. That was all the email said. This is a guy who has lived in the neighborhood for 20 years and who was always out working in his yard. Since the email has come out, we haven't seen him once and his house isn't on the market yet. We haven't seen his dog either, which is weird because his dog is always outside. It's caused me great concern.

Also recently, there was a moving truck at another neighbor's home. We think that the couple split up and the woman moved out. The woman had an evil Siberian Husky with great rage in his heart for Kirby. Once, when Kirby was on a walk and the woman came to pet him, the husky actually pushed his way through the window screen and came running at Kirby. So, I'm not very sad that the husky is gone. I am, however, curious about what happened between the two people. The couple used to be really friendly with us, but in recent months the guy wouldn't even look in our direction when he was walking past. I kept thinking "What did we do?", but now I'm wondering if he was just in a dark place because of his relationship (and also probably the husky).

Snooping on your neighbors makes me feel like I'm living in the 1800's and am all "Why I do declare, Mr. Jones was drunk in his yard in his knickers last night looking for his cat." I love it. Does that make me a bad person?

Kirby Day

Today is a national holiday in my house, it's the one-year anniversary of the day we brought home Kirby. I'm really hoping that he won't commemorate the event by re-enacting his first ten minutes of being part of our family. Those first ten minutes went as follows: Mike and I open the door to our house and put Kirby down setting him free in his new home; Kirby runs for a corner and pees all over; mid-pee, Mike picks him up and we take him outside so that he can finish his business; Kirby finishes peeing in the yard; Kirby comes back inside with Mike while I am cleaning up his previous mess; Kirby runs right back to the spot that I had just cleaned up and squats to crap; Mike and I scream "Kirby NO!" and go to take him outside which scares Kirby who then runs through his crap and to the back door making crappy puppy prints all through the house; Mike takes him outside and Kirby craps in the proper place; I begin cleaning up the mess; Kirby is let back into the house and runs for a different corner, but this time we catch him in time.

It was after these 10 minutes that I said to Mike "I don't think this was our greatest idea." Tonight, when Kirby cuddles up against me I'll think about how myself a year ago was so wrong and that Kirby was actually one of the best ideas Mike and I have had.

Happy Kirby Day!