Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Pumpkin Blumpkin

The last few weeks have been a blur.  First, Mike and I had the best time at our wedding.  We have been so happy and celebratory lately as we are still riding the high from that night.  Everyone says the day goes by so fast, and in a lot of ways it did.  However, everything went so perfect and there was absolutely no stress from sun up until sun down that I was the most peaceful I have been in a long time.  I have so many people to thank for that, but I'll save it for another day. 

Second, we went on our honeymoon.  San Francisco is such an awesome city.  Sonoma is pretty fun too.  I can't wait to update on all of the things that we saw and ate.  Holy goodness.  There is so much good food in San Francisco.  Mike and I definitely overate. 

Since we have been back, we've been trying to slow life down and just relish in the newlywed glow.  I think I'll relish it a lot more once the house is put back in order and the thank you cards are written. 

Last night, we partook in one of my favorite activities...pumpkin carving.  I actually don't love carving pumpkins, but I love pumpkin seeds, so I insist on pumpkins every year.  This year we just did one.  Isn't she lovely?  We named her Allison Blumpkin, the country pumpkin.  I can't wait to put her out tonight.  I didn't want to put her out last night because I was afraid that squirrels would eat her.  What is that anyways?  This year more than others I've noticed squirrels eating pumpkins.  Is there a nut shortage that I don't know about?

I will update a lot on the wedding stuff, but for now, just one picture...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

That Hit Show That I Hope Y'all Have Heard Of

I got this flyer in the mail for the local Costco World Market.  They were having some kind of store event that I was not in a million years going to go to.  However, the big draw was Maksim Chmerkovskiy!!!!  Oh Lord help me with those abs.  I just thought it was a little strange that they could use Maksim's name, but not use the name of the show that he's made famous for (hint, hint the show is Dancing with the Has-Been Stars).

How do we know that it's really the Maks that will be appearing at the store and not some creepy impersonator?  Or is this one of those things where they pretend that it's the Maks from Dancing with the Has-Beens, but they've changed one letter in the spelling of the name and really it's some Maksim from a hit TV dance show in the Ukraine that no one watches.  How much would you hate getting down to World Market and finding that you'd been duped? 

This is another perfect example of terrible marketing.  If you can't use the name "Dancing with the G-List Stars", then why even bother using the name Maksim?  I guarantee that the name Maksim means almost nothing without saying what the hit TV dance show is.  Yes, Maks is cute and has that bad-boy attitude that makes the ladies wet their drawers, but is he so cute that he can get my ass out to World Market.  Probs not. 

I guess the marketing point that I'm trying to make is that Maksim is not a special guest unless he is coming as Maksim of Dancing with the Has-Been and Never-Will-Be-Again Stars.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Back Fat

You might wonder why a post titled back fat has photos of puppies on it.  It's because I feel like when you are talking about something as upsetting as back fat, it's nice to look at puppies. 

See...I have back fat.  OMG I HAVE BACK FAT.  I'M FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT.  AHHHHH.  Oh wait, puppies.
Okay that's better.  Except, I seriously have back fat.  Or at least haunches that resemble back fat in strapless dresses and some ill-fitting bras.  OMG.  I CAN'T HAVE BACK FAT.  MY WEDDING DRESS IS STRAPLESS AND IT SQUEEZES MY BACK TOGETHER SO THAT IT SHOWS MY BACK FAT.  I'm seriously freaking out about it.  Holy holiness, I'm so upset.  Oh, look at that, puppies.
Nothing helps as much as puppies. 

But seriously, I am a petite person.  I weigh a little more than I like, but generally speaking when I look at myself in the mirror undressed, I am not unhappy.  However, sometimes I see photos of myself from the backside and I'm like what the frick is that jiggly jiggliness? 

Lately I've noticed it more and more.  In wedding preparation, I bought a set of five pound weights and have been working really hard, but it's mostly my arms that you can see the difference in.  That back fat still lingers.  Wow, does that back fat linger. 

I guess all I'm here to say is that getting rid of your jiggly jigglebits in the back end is really difficult.  I think the secret is in the pilates swimming stroke, but I do that for a few seconds and I'm in agony and I'm bored.  So, don't judge my back fat.  Now I'm off to look at lots more pictures of puppies.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Working is More Fun With Cupcakes

There are some really great perks to working with your almost spouse.  Some days, Mike and I work in the same building, but we rarely see each other.  So, it doesn't feel like we really work together.  Every now and again we will run into each other in the hall and it brightens my day.  The last couple of weeks at work have been busy and stressful.  I have my mind on other things, like this wedding I'm planning, so I have zero concentration.  Mike's been doing everything he can to minimize the stress for me.

About a week ago, there was a knock on my office door.  I went to the door, but there was no one there.  Annoyed, I went back to my desk.  A minute later...another knock.  I go to the door and there was again not a soul in sight.  My blood pressure was raging.  I was trying to concentrate on reading some reports for a brief I was writing and this distraction was more than I could handle. 

A few minutes later, my phone rang.  It was Mike.  "Will you go into the hallway please?"  I was beyond pissed at him.  "Have you been knocking on my door and running away?"  He pleaded, "Just go into the hall."  I begrudgingly went only to find a small white paper bag right outside my door.  I felt like Alice in Wonderland.  Inside was one Black Bottom cupcake from the awesome Minnesota bakery Cupcake.  Moist chocolate cake mixed with cheesecake and chocolate chips and drizzled with ganache.  Oh Lord, it made my entire week.

These are the moments when working with loved ones is the best.  The second best thing is being able to gossip about your coworkers. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Enchanted Tiki Room

When I was a kid and was planning my first trip to Walt Disney World, my mom got this book called Birnbaum's Guide to Walt Disney World.  This guy, Birnbaum, was an expert at Walt Disney World and the book had all of these helpful tips and tricks on how to navigate the parks.  I loved that book and used to study it religiously.  I truly believe that I missed my calling as a travel book writer and trip planner.

Anyhow, one of Birnbaum's tips that I still use when I go to The Magic Kingdom park is always go to Adventureland first and work your way around to Tomorrowland.  I think the logic here is that people tend to go to Fantasyland and Tomorrowland first (those are directly behind and to the right of Cinderella's castle), so if you go first to Adventureland (which is to the left of the castle) you will miss the crowds.  I'm not sure that this is the truth anymore, but to this day, I have to go to Adventureland first.

One attraction in Adventureland that I often overlook is the Enchanted Tiki Room.  On my last trip there, I realized that I had totally forgotten what happened at this weird little bird show and so my mom and I jumped in line.  I'm really glad that we did because I forgot how funny and cute the Enchanged Tiki Room can be. 

The Tiki Room is really a show where audioanimatronic birds sing to you.  It sounds hokey, and ultimately it is hokey, but it's also pretty cute.  Also, you are at Disneyworld, so don't worry so much about's all a little hokey.  How many more times can I say hokey?  There are birds from France, birds from Spain, birds from the rain forest and the are all gathering to sing rooms that will be stuck in your head all day.  "In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room, in the tiki, tik, tiki, tiki, tiki room..."  That's the only line I remember.

Alright, so you are seated in this round theatre and the show begins.  The one thing that I don't like is that some of the birds voices are more annoying than others and the show is pretty long, so if you are stuck next to a terrible sounding bird it can be unnerving.  Other than that, just sit back and enjoy the show.  Again, this is one of those attractions that is good for a little rest and air-conditioning.  Mind your necks, though, staring up at the birds can give you near paralysis.  Also, if you are going to use this time to take a nap do not snore.  It's just really rude to the birds.

3/5 or 7/10 stars.  It's not the most fun or the most relevant, but it's a Disney classic and has some cute moments.

Monday, October 1, 2012


Do you all remember that feeling you'd get in school right before the holidays?  That crazy,wild abandonment where you couldn't actually do any learning because you were so excited for vacation and presents and all the candy you could eat.  I loved how the teachers surrendered to the fact that no one was paying attention and did Christmas arts and crafts or extra story time or secret santa stuff. 

I'm feeling like that times a million-bajillion because I'm getting married in 2.5 weeks.  And I'm not paying attention to anyone or anything.  I just can't wait.  I can't wait for the wedding, I can't wait to see how all of the planning has turned out, I can't wait to dance the night away with friends, I can't wait for people to see my dress, I can't wait to be Mike's wife.  Mostly the last one.  Mike and I are so excited to be married, we can hardly contain ourselves.  Unfortunately, work isn't giving me a pass like my school teachers did.  Concentrating these next two weeks is going to be difficult.

Which is why this morning was so weird.  First off this morning, I looked in the front pocket of my work bag and didn't see my work keycard or office keys.  Panic!  I looked in my bag and there they were, safe and sound.  I grabbed them to deposit into the front pocket where they belong.  Next, I get to work and am walking up the bridge to my building when I hear this loud screaming man say: "STOP THE TRUCK!  STOP THE TRUCK!  I'M STILL FUCKING BACK HERE!"  It was this really panicked voice too.  So, I turn to my right and notice that this semi-truck is barreling up the bridge with the back gate open and a man leaning out trying to get the driver's attention.  He was literally screaming at him all the way up the bridge.  It was so scary. 

When I finally get to the crosswalk at the top of the bridge, the semi-truck was nowhere to be seen.  I start fishing in my front pocket to find my keys and can't find them.  Which was impossible because they had to be there!  But, they were not.  They weren't in my bag anywhere.  I have no idea what I did with them this morning.  Organization fail.  Luckily, I knew the deputy that was working the front door and he let me in without my keys. 

When I got up to my desk, I put my lunch and can of diet coke into the refrigerator that is in the hallway outside my workspace.  I do this every day.  At lunchtime, I went to retrieve my goodies and someone had stolen my diet coke.  That is shameful.  Honestly, downright terrible.  I wrote a note to the person about how I am a woman on the edge and they just stole the last bit of my sanity.  It made me feel better, but I didn't put it on the fridge, I just threw it away.

So, yes, today has been a random day.  And nothing has helped my insane wedding fever.