Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Random Acts of Douchebaggery

I am not a fan of strangers touching me. Even in a crowded space, if I am brushed by a stranger's hand or arm, I shudder with a sudden case of the creeps. Several of my friends who have had beautiful babies have warned me that on that far away date when I do get pregnant I better be prepared for stranger touching. Apparently strangers love touching pregnant bellies. Lord help me.

Truth be told, I've heard many terrible stories from my friends about the inappropriateness of people's behavior around pregnant women. What is it about pregnancy that makes people ass clowns?

Last week I heard a really annoying story from a good friend who is pregnant (I almost said knocked up, but then I realized that is inappropriate behavior regarding pregnant glad I caught myself). My friend is all of those good adjectives that you would use for pregnant women. Glowing, beautiful, radiant. However, there is a woman that she works with who enjoys telling her how pregnant she is. And she uses the bad words like "big" and I think she even maybe has used the word "huge". What a bitch!

Here's a little tip for everyone: if you have diarrhea of the mouth then maybe you don't ever say anything to a pregnant person about their pregnancy. Even if you think it's a benign comment like "I can't believe that you don't have twins in there" just keep it to yourself. Because it's really never okay to even accidentally make a person feel bad for growing life. In fact, it's super douchey. Look, babies need their space and it's not like we can just rationalize with the fetus and say "Hey you, in there, can you slow down your growth so that my wench of a coworker won't give me the stink eye every time I chomp down on a 3 Musketeers bar."

So, stop being such douchebags and making rude comments to pregnant women.

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