Friday, August 27, 2010

Random Acts of Douchebaggery

This post is dedicated to Michael, happy birthday darling!

On our recent adventure to D.C. and Charleston, Mike and I had the pleasure of taking 5 plane trips. Let me just tell you that travelling by plane has sunk to an almost despicable experience. Mostly because of the constant barrage of RAD's going on all around you. I think I'll start with the most egregious.
On our way from D.C. to Charleston, we had to fly through the Atlanta airport to catch a connecting flight. Our flight touches down and there's that moment where they turn off the fasten seat belt sign and everyone lunges for the aisle. Y'all know what I'm talking about. For whatever reason, people just need to get to the aisle, even when you are in the back of the plane. It's like they think being in the aisle means they will get off the plane faster. I'll give you bitches a tip, it doesn't. The plane will disembark row by row.

When we landed in Atlanta the above woman decided that she had enough and not only was she going to lunge for the aisle, she was also going to bust through the crowded aisle to get to the front of the plane. I was standing in my row in the aisle seat (I didn't win the race to the actual aisle, mostly because I wasn't participating in the race) when all of a sudden I feel this enormous push by something large and fleshy. It was enough to actually knock me down to the seat. I look up and see what appears to be Ronald McDonald pushing her way up the aisle. I was shocked! So now, not only are people pushing their way to the aisle, they are actually pushing their way through the aisle. And she wasn't a slight little thing, so she actually had to push her way into spots where there wasn't any room.

Two rows in front of us, there was a lady in the aisle who was having none of this douchebaggery. The McDonald douche tapped her on the shoulder to try and get by and the lady stonewalled her. She just said "No." But this didn't stop her. She continued to try and push ahead and finally made it when the lady gave her a small opening so that she could get her bag from the overhead compartment.

Listen, I know what it's like to have connecting flights and be stressed that you won't make them. So, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she probably had a connecting flight. However, after I got off of the plane, (which was much later than the McDonald douche because she had budged her way at least 10 rows in front of me) I go into the bathroom and who is standing at the sink but the McDonald douche. Then when I left the bathroom she was just standing around. I couldn't believe it. She was in no hurry. She was simply pushing past people in the aisle so that she could get ahead. Classic act of douchebaggery.


Angie said...

Ooooh Molly, I want to smack this lady for you! Classic DB, you are so right.

Molly said...

You should have seen her in the airplane. Nothing was stopping her. I definitely learned that airplane travel is full of RAD's!