Recently, I bought a membership to Sam's Club. Is Sam's Club a universal thing? It's basically a big warehouse of food and other household necessities that only come in bulk sizes. The theory is that this saves you money. They also seem to be ALWAYS giving out food samples, so you can go there for lunch.
I have found that I am saving a lot of money in one key place of my life. Fake butter. The only thing that I use fake butter for is toast and sandwiches. I never cook with it. Don't ever cook with fake butter. The same goes for Miracle Whip and low fat cheeses. Don't ever try to melt these things or you will vomit. I actually have a really funny story about how in college I didn't know that Miracle Whip was not in fact actual mayonnaise, so I made my mom's artichoke dip recipe with Miracle Whip and stuck it in the oven to bake. All of these globules of Miracle Whip floated to the bottom and this oily layer floated to the top. Somewhere in the middle of all of this was cheese and artichokes.
Anyhow, even though I only use fake butter on toast and sandwiches, I seem to go through a lot of it. Enter the five pound tub of Country Crock that I found at Sam's Club. That's a lot of fake butter! A regular tub is one and a half pounds (or something like that). When I saw this 5-pound tub at Sam's Club, I told Mike that we needed fake butter because we were almost out. We went back and forth about whether people would make fun of us if they ever saw the 5- pound tub in our refrigerator and figured that very few people look in there, so we might as well go for it.
It was only $5.99. I wasn't sure if I was getting a good deal or not because I didn't know how much a regular tub of fake butter cost. When we left Sam's, we went over to Byerly's to buy our fruits and vegetables and I checked on the 1.5-pound fake butter tubs. $3.49! I then gave myself a special hug to commend my money saving techniques.
Now, if anyone wants to come over I can make you some sandwiches and you don't have to worry that you are breaking my budget by asking for extra fake butter.