Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Social Media Killed the Dating Star, Part One

I know I've used this picture before, but I needed a picture and this one seems to actually fit. Here's the dealio, Social Media has absolutely killed the dating world. That is a fact. Lately, I've been reading a lot of sad girl blogs regarding dating and bad relationships and the majority of them have one thing in common...they relied too heavily on social media.

Back in the day, dating was relatively simple by modern comparison. There were dates and flowers and then there was maybe a phone call for a second date and so on and so on. The information learned about each other was learned through this quaint little thing of asking questions about one another and talking and communicating. It was perfect for understanding how you felt about someone.

Then, AOL happened. And we had IM's and internets and cell phones and emails and texting and myspace and facebook and twitter and linked in. This, my friends, has effed us up.

Let me tell you a story about me in high school. I had a huge crush on this guy and wanted so badly to ask him to the Homecoming dance (ed. note: I went to an all-girls high school, so yes, the girls did the asking). But, I chickened out. The next dance was several months later and a friend, who was also good friends with the guy, came up to me and said "Everyone knows that you want to ask him, so no one else is going to ask him to this dance. I want him to go and if you chicken out and don't ask him he won't go and I am going to be so pissed at you." I almost shit my pants. I had to do this. In the end, the nerves really got to me (my adult self is screaming as I type this: "What in the hell were you so nervous about?") and I could not pick up that phone and call him. I tried several times only to stop in the middle of dialing his number every time (yes, kids, back then you had to dial numbers). Lo and behold, I dialed into my AOL account and brought up my IM. The crush was also on IM. I actually asked him to a dance on IM! How douchey is that?

It was also a terrible mistake. When we actually went to the dance, we had nothing to really say to one another and I was still nervous. It was because I never actually mustered up the courage to call him and talk to him. We had never jumped that hurdle and so the dance was spent mostly in silence. Awful. If I didn't have AOL and didn't have modern technology, I would have been forced to call him and forced to overcome that nervous part of myself that was saying you can't do this. Instead, I relied on technology and took the easy way out. Never a good idea in dating and relationships.

I have lots more to say about this topic, but I believe long blog posts are the work of the devil. Stay tuned for part two.

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