Question:

Where the eff did March go? Seriously. I woke up this morning and thought that April 1st must be about 3 weeks away until my 1,000 Places to See Before You Die Page-A-Day Calendar told me what's what. Today's photo was Mt. Rainier in case you were wondering (true story).

Anyhow, the history lesson for the day is that La Tour Eiffel (Eiffel Tower) was inaugurated on April's Eve in 1889. Thank you Gustave Eiffel your decorative use of over 7,000 tons of steel is truly an inspiration.

2008 Wish Come True

SNAP A LAP! It's like I have a genie in a bottle up in here. My 2008 Wish for Minneapolis was a hip new club to lower my inhibitions and general standards of decency. Holy Hannah my every dream came true.

Sort of...

Sushi Seven Ultralounge recently opened in downtown and it's so hip it's almost 5 minutes ago. I don't care though, I'm just glad someone read my blog and recognized the intense need for new blood in downtown.

In other partying news, I have almost officially turned my back on uptown. In the last two months I have been viciously kicked out of a liquor store, told I was ugly and been flipped off by a random stranger for no apparent reason. Basically I'm not crossing the border until that part of the city gets a serious attitude adjustment. That means I will not be spreading the NME joy to uptown for awhile.

February - Out Like A Bitch

I had to use an old photograph from the famous April's Eve 2007 to show the passing of March's Eve. I blame it on the cold, bitter weather and the fact that everyone hates February for the recent slowdown in NME celebrations globally. It's okay though, I hear warmer weather and the advent of spring melts even the iciest of hearts.

HAPPY MARCH!

The Asexual Messiah

If you didn't know me in college, this might not make sense. But, it doesn't need to make sense to be true. Right Grace? On a side note, I think the title of his book Unsafe at Any Speed is a secret nod to the current asexual movement. SEX-- UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED. I bet he thought of that while watching Chicken Run.

Leap Into March

Get It....Cause it's Leap Year. And it's on a Friday. Holla!

Anyway, there's a tradition dating back to England or somewhere over in Europa where Leap Year was the only acceptable day for a woman to make a proposal of marriage to a man. Further if the dude rejected that proposal he had to soften the blow by providing the woman with a kiss, one pound currency and a silk gown. I think in modern times this translates to a french kiss (hey, I'm a prude), a hundred bones and a Louis Vuitton handbag.

There will be a lot of lucky guys receiving marriage proposals from me. Or at least those two who will return my phone calls.

NME Resolutions

Some people have been asking me just how to make a NME Resolution. And by some people I mean no one, but NME Resolutions are entertaining so I'm going to tell you how to make them.

STEP 1: Don't try to save the world with your resolution. You're not Gandhi. Just say you want to eat more Chipotle in the new month and call it a day.

STEP 2: Don't repeat resolutions more than one month in a row. For example (and this is of course hypothetical), if my NME Resolution in January was to make out with a random guy, I can't make that my resolution for February. March, however, is negotiable. Like my dignity will be when I make that my March Resolution.

I would have included more steps, but making resolutions isn't that complicated.

February - In Like a Whore

Seriously, I'm cranky and February has been a bitch to me. All I have to say is Boo, you whore (except Becca, only her, Jacob and the Chatterbox Pub know why). I meant to post that 6 days ago.