Tuesday, February 19, 2008

NME Resolutions

Some people have been asking me just how to make a NME Resolution. And by some people I mean no one, but NME Resolutions are entertaining so I'm going to tell you how to make them.

STEP 1: Don't try to save the world with your resolution. You're not Gandhi. Just say you want to eat more Chipotle in the new month and call it a day.

STEP 2: Don't repeat resolutions more than one month in a row. For example (and this is of course hypothetical), if my NME Resolution in January was to make out with a random guy, I can't make that my resolution for February. March, however, is negotiable. Like my dignity will be when I make that my March Resolution.

I would have included more steps, but making resolutions isn't that complicated.


Katherine said...

The rule for resolutions is definitely the simpler the better (is simpler a word? who is this Katherine girl and does she need some remedial grammar classes?). The point is there's no need for overachieving. Just pick something you can do to make your life better in one month.

My favorite resolution from last year was Becca's August Resolution succinctly delivered in four words. "Chill the fuck out." Which then prompted my resolution's phrasing for the month: "Get a fuckin job." See that's not so bad.

Anonymous said...

hey! eat more chipotle was my 07 febs resolution be-atch. but the point, i know, is pick something reasonable.

the only exception to the "no two months in a row can have the same resolution" is if it's an add on.

for example-

feb: eat more chipotle
mar: eat more chipotle and start doing some squats and hip thrusts.


feb: chill the fuck out
mar: chill the fuck out w/o the assistance of meds, booze, or the usage of "personal days"

Molly said...

I actually think that your second March example of chilling the fuck out abuses rule #1 since only Mohandas could be in his mid-20's and chill the fuck out without the assistance of meds, booze or personal days.

Katherine said...

Who the heck is "anonymous?" Identify yourself!

Oh and who's Mohandas? Don't make me Wikipedia-it! I don't have time for non-work tasks because I am a focused and dedicated indidivual. Obviously.

Anonymous said...

molly, that's why it was called an example. would i myself ever make such a resolution? oh hell no.

anonymous was me (and is me again). i created an account, then i forgot my password.