Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Las Vegas: City of Bums

I don't remember there being so many bums in Vegas the last time that I was there. There are always bums in Vegas, but when I was there this past October it felt overcrowded with bums. They were everywhere. One day we walked from our hotel, Paris, to the MGM Grand and it was a bum war zone. You could not walk anywhere without one standing a little too close to your purse or one dancing around in a Homer Simpson costume demanding that you pay him for a photo. Where did they all come from? The irony of it all was that right across the street was this:
Gucci! Louis Vuitton! Prada! There were no bums on that side of the street. I guess the Vegas city council must have zoned it a no bum zone.

Okay, back to the picture at the top of this post. Peeps, this particular bum was sunning himself on a tiny patch of grass right next to Las Vegas Boulevard. It looks like a nice place for a nap. The problem is that he made himself comfortable by taking his shoes off. I don't want to sound harsh because I know he's homeless and showers aren't that convenient, but homeboy had some of the stankiest feet.

We were probably 10 feet from this bum and hadn't seen him yet when a noxious odor hit our olfactory nerves. We couldn't figure out what in the hell it was. That's when I saw him laying there with his shoes off. It had to be him. As we got closer, the smell got worse and worse. I have never in my life smelled anything like it. Half of me felt sorry for him and the other half wanted to demand that he put his shoes on. His feet were assaulting me.

I'm hoping that the next time I'm in Vegas, the streets are a little more cleaned up. Otherwise I may never leave my hotel.

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