Feb's Eve Evite Sent: Let the Games Begin

The Feb's Eve Evite has been sent. Let me just say that I am E to the X to the C to the I-T-E-D. I hope that spells Excited. Grace suggested a Civil War Theme with costume ideas being John Wilkes Booth and Mary Todd Lincoln. The Civil War Theme was nixed, but MTL may make an appearance. Let's face it, I don't need a costume to be the spitting image of that bitch.

Ways The Past Has Celebrated Feb's Eve

I wikipediaed some things that have famously happened on Feb's Eve in the past, here are some of the more remarkable events that the universe has blessed us with on Feb's Eve (top ten style):

(10) In 1849 the UK abolished Corn Laws, and thank the Lord, because what would we do if the UK's 19th Century Corn Laws were still in existence?

(9) In 2005 Michael Jackson plead innocent to alleged child molestation, rumor has it that Neverland and Bubbles the Monkey had a huge Feb's Eve party that night

(8) In 1865 Robert E Lee was put in charge of the Confederate Army. Great American Heroes and Feb's Eve!

(7) In 1930 3M gave us Scotch Tape....the world has never been the same and neither have my bedroom walls

(6) Last year (2007) Feb's Eve saw two bridges and a couple other major roadways shut down in Boston because of those super funny Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertisements that looked suspiciously like bombs. Funny pranks and Feb's Eve go hand in hand.

(5) In 1929 the Soviet Union exiled Leon Trotsky, and a Happy Feb's Eve to Mr. Lenin and all those Bolsheviks. Although somewhere the Commie Tommies are crying.

(4) In 2002 the environment celebrated Feb's Eve by disintegrating a large section of the Antarctic Larsen Ice Shelf. Yay for Global Warming!

(3) In 1990 thousands spent the day waiting in line outside the first McDonald's in Moscow. And in 1991, thousands were admitted to the Russian hospital for quadruple bypass surgery. No, I kid, McDonald's is delicious and nutritious.

(2) In 1747 London Lock Hospital opened the very first VD clinic! The foresight...it's as if they knew that Feb's Eve would become the greatest day for having sex with strangers and passing on VD.

(1) In 1981 Feb's Eve brought some sexy back (is that getting old yet?) when it welcomed Mr. JT to the world. Holla!

Almost Famous New Words

If my friends don't become famous for starting the New Month Eve Revolution, then let me assure you they will become famous for coining some awesomely sweet new words. Here are a few of my favorites:

Fa-chick -- foul ass chick, i.e. Paris Hilton
Swass/Swussy/Sween/Swalls -- swass = sweaty ass, I'll leave the rest for you kids to figure out
Fruitacular -- food that is surprisingly fruity and delicious, i.e. spumoni
Clit Slit -- a skirt that is cut so short as to show off your feminine goodness
kewl -- I actually don't know what this means, but Kara always makes me say it
Asex -- not so much a new word as a revolution, basically someone who you just can't imagine is interested in sex, i.e. Ralph Nader

I know I'm forgetting some, but these are my favorites.

Feb's Eve Gets Lost

Another weekend, another Lost marathon. Which leads me to the point of this post. The fourth season premiere of Lost is on January 31st.

Looks like the Febs Eve spirit has reached the powers that be at ABC. Welcome to the revolution, my friends. I think this year's Febs Eve party will be island styled.

My 2008 Wish for Minneapolis:

A new, hip downtown club. After spending the summer and fall bouncing between 3 venues, I can honestly say that this town needs some fresh blood. It would be wonderful to crawl out of winter hibernation in May to find that there's a fabulous new place to make Summer of 2008 much more interesting.

Here's my list of reasons why Mpls needs a new club:

• NV (or Envy...whatever) - terrible, terrible music
• The Lodge - weird ambiance and you are guaranteed to run into someone you don't want to see
• Spin - when I was a kid it was Tropix and it was just as seedy. Any place that's 18+ isn't worth going to after you turn 17
• Foundation - was cooler when it was Level
• Drink - please
• Annex/Lone Tree - see Drink
• Escape - I didn't even know this place was still open
• Infiniti Room - There's a long story about why this place sucks, but in short form, a girl was attacked by a guy there and management didn't do anything. Yuck
• Refuge/Rosens/District/Brothers - I've seen people not wear shoes at each of these places

In my opinion the best club in downtown is the Lounge with Aqua coming in a distant second followed by Imperial Room. Honorable Mention goes to Red, White & F*!&ing Blue and The Loop.

Happy 2008!

How to Hold A NME Party

Here's some important guidelines for anyone interested in throwing their own NME party, but they aren't quite sure where to begin:

(1) Themes are always good, they unite people and give them common ground to stand on. But, if you do a theme - COMMIT! For instance, if you're theme is "Hipsters in the New Month" then make sure the only bronson you're drinking is PBR and that all decor and locations that you go to are deck. Otherwise you'll end up totally midtown.

(2) If you're going out to a bar for NME, make sure to do two things - choose sompelace random and tell everyone at the bar that you are celebrating the new month. Nothing gets people aroused like a crazy beeyotch ranting about a made up holiday, trust me.

(3) Always put someone responsible and relatively sober in charge of the NME countdown. I cannot tell you how many New Months I've had where I look at my phone to see that it's 12:11 and that while I've been listening to Random Dude X wax nostalgic about how backpacking through Europe at age 19 has really made him a better salesperson at 30, I've managed to miss the New Month. Oh wait, I can tell you - it's been 7 and I've regretted all but one.

(4) Force everyone to make a NME resolution. I live for two things: making resolutions to improve the quality of my life and breaking them 4 days later so that I can fall into the same self-destructive patterns. What could be better than doing this once a month??

Favorite NME Memories

Just to get us really excited for the 2008 NME Season...Let's all post our favorite memories in the comments...I'll start:

My favorite NME was Feb's Eve 2003 (I think)...It was when we all went to Nye's and polka danced the night away. My fav memory was when we were leaving and Amy thought that Ro had started the car and was ready to drive away, so she rolled down the window and told the valets that we thought they were really cute. The best was the look on her face when the car didn't drive away and she said to Ro, "We need to leave now" and Ro answered back, "Amy, the car isn't even turned on." Smooth.

Ahhhh....Feb's Eve!