Wild Horses

I have been feeling a bit like a wild and out of control stallion lately.  Except it's not nearly as fun as the horses make it seem.  I knew that there would come a time in the wedding planning process where I felt like everything was just running wild.  I didn't expect to come at the same time when work was a hot mess.  Such is life.

So, with work being constant and wedding stuff being busy (I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, it's definitely a fun busy), there are several things that I have allowed to slip through the cracks.  The weirdest part is that I don't care.  I'm in a very go with the flow mood and I am not a good time gal, that's for damn sure.

First, I don't think I've made the bed in weeks.  Which isn't that huge of a deal, except that sleeping in an unmade bed normally bothers me.  A few weeks ago, Kirby had a moment and destroyed our comforter.  I picked up all of the stuffing, but wasn't able to sew the holes back together for a couple of weeks.  At that point, I figured why bother making the bed?  And now that the comforter is fixed I'm still feeling like I just don't care.  For the record, Kirby felt great shame at what he did.  See...

The second thing that I've been letting slip is cooking dinners.  Mike and I had been really good about making dinner every night of the week.  The last couple of weeks, however, I have had zero motivation to make anything.  I love cooking, but right now it seems like such a chore. 

I also have totally let the garden go to the dogs.  I haven't watered in a week or so, I haven't gone out to weed in a month.  Our grass is so brown and crunchy that I'm sure our neighbors are wondering what is wrong with us.  I love having a garden, but since the wedding stuff amped up I couldn't justify spending so much time on it.  I also have to say that I never realized how fast the weed situation could get out of control.  Until next year weeds.

Argh.  Normally this stuff would drive me nuts.  But, right now I'm too busy in other areas of  my life to care all that much.  I've decided that I need to set some "After Wedding Goals" to get myself back into the swing of real life.  Starting on October 28 I will:

• Make the bed again.
• Vacuum at least once a week.
• Cook one new recipe once a week.
• Spend extra cuddle time with Kirby, who has taken being ignored like a champ.
• Spend more time with my family.



Random Acts of Douchebaggery

This is a RAD that has been stewing up my rage for years.  Local Minnesotans will know what I'm talking about when I say metered freeway ramps.  For those not local to the 'Sota, I will explain.  Some idiot decided a long time ago that during rush hour traffic the freeway entrance ramps should be metered by traffic lights so that only one car would be allowed onto the freeway from an entrance ramp every 10 seconds.  Or sometimes it's every 5 seconds.  And sometimes it's every 2 seconds.  I guess it's a real technical sort of science. 

These metered ramps have ENRAGED me for so long and for so many reasons.  Here's what pisses me off the most.  First, you cannot tell me that this actually makes a quantifiable difference in traffic.  No matter how you meter the traffic, the same amount of cars are going to need to use the freeway, and while I understand the theory, I just don't believe that it actually makes any difference in the flow of traffic.  Except that it just slows down how fast the back-ups can happen.

Secondly, the timing of the lights seems so arbitrary to me.  Sometimes I have been in totally backed up traffic where the entrance ramp is packed with cars and the green lights are blinking on and off every other second, but no cars can go through because the traffic is so bad.  Other times I have been stuck at an entrance ramp's red light for a good 10 seconds even though there is literally no traffic on the freeway.  I never know if you can go through the red light or not, but if there's 5 cars waiting on the entrance ramp and no cars on the freeway, is it really necessary to wait almost a minute for all of those cars to enter the freeway? 

Thirdly, people are such assholes about the whole thing.  If everyone would just get in the lineup and wait their turn, I wouldn't be so mad, but then you get people who just blow through the red lights or who aren't paying attention and don't go when the light turns green and my road rage goes from mild to severe in one second. 

Finally, why in the world does Minnesota need this much traffic control.  Folks in the TC area, we do not have bad traffic.  I've been in LA on the 405 at 2:00 in the afternoon...now that's bad traffic!  I just don't think that we need metered entrance ramps for the 2-3 hours a day that the freeways get backed up.

What I'd really like to do is strangle the person who came up with this crazy idea in the first place.  But, since I can't do that, I'll just passive aggressively RAD him.  Yes, sir (I'm assuming it was a man), you are a douche.

P.S.  Does anyone remember when Jesse Ventura was our governor and he thought that the lights were stupid so he ordered that they all be turned off?  Those were glorious days when our governor could go on the Dave Letterman show and talk about how all those drunk Irish in St. Paul designed the street grids. 

O Canada!

I'm not talking about the Canadian national anthem, but the movie that is played in the Canada pavilion at Epcot Center.  Because what could be more interesting than a movie about Canada?  Am I right? 

Okay, I'm totally joking.  Canada is actually such a fun country and filled with so much beauty.  Vancouver and Montreal are the only two cities that I've been too, which is a tragedy.  Montreal was actually one of my favorite trips.  It's like going to France without having to cross the ocean.  They had really fun shopping and people watching, awesome food and no one spoke English.  I think it was actually more difficult to speak English in Montreal than it is in Paris.  I was shocked in Montreal when I walked into a huge department store and had to go to three different cashiers to find one that could speak English.  I actually speak limited French, but they couldn't understand my pronunciation and none of them spoke a word of English. 

I'm digressing here.  What I really wanted to talk about is Disney's O Canada! film.  My mom used to drag me to this film when I was younger and even now as an adult it's not my favorite.  The film's scenery is beautiful, but it's in one of those 360 degree theatres, so you have to stand with your neck craned to watch it.  I hate that.  They really should make those theatres for short people, or give short people little booster stands so that you don't strain your neck so much. 

The film isn't my favorite, but what I've really grown to love is the Canada pavilion's grounds.  They have these gorgeous flower gardens that you can walk through.  Look!

They really keep the gardens looking tip top, so if you have a few spare moments, it's worth strolling through.  There aren't a lot of calm moments on the Disneyworld grounds, but the paths through these flower gardens are often overlooked and you can find a moment of serenity within them.

The film is kind of a downer, but the grounds are gorgeous, so I'm giving this one a 5/10 or 2/5 stars.

Ode of Balls

A couple of weeks ago, we threw a bachelorette party for my dear friend Grace.  It was off the hook.  Probably the best bachelorette party in the world.  The theme was balls.  Seriously, balls.

We started off at a restaurant called The Devil's Advocate in downtown Minneapolis.  This was the perfect setting because all they serve is balls.

Here is the bachelorette with an appetizer of buffalo balls.  They were amazing!  And courtesy of our friend Angie, who couldn't be at the Bachelorette Ball, but still was kind of enough to give the gift of balls.

When you ordered, you chose how many balls you wanted, what kind of meat you wanted your balls to be made of, what type of sauce your balls should be covered in and a side dish.

I got a sampler of balls because I wanted to try all the balls that they had.  I really enjoyed the balls because they fit right into my mouth and were a little bit spicy.  

After dinner, we went to Bryant Lake Bowl to throw some balls down the bowling lane.  We also played games that had to do with balls.

Can you guess how many candy balls are stuffed into this Ball canning jar?

There were also gifts of all ball shapes and sizes.  People got very creative.

And because we didn't want any girls to go home without a handful of balls, I put together these ball sacks for favors.

Balls made for a hysterical bachelorette party.  There's a lot that you can do with the ball theme and it keeps it a little more tongue-in-cheek than the penis straw.  Happy Bachelorette Ball Grace!

Falling for Nothing

Kirby is pretty unimpressed with this year's Fall television schedule.  The new shows are lackluster.  He's still pissed that they didn't renew GCB; he loved that show.  I have to admit that I agree with my furry friend.  What is going on with this season's television shows?  It's one crapfest after the next.  With that being said, I'm sure I'll find something to watch.  Here is a day-by-day breakdown of what I'll be watching.

Sundays

• ABC has a trifecta of awesome TV.  Once Upon A Time (one of my favorite new shows from last year), followed by Revenge (which was probably the best new show last year; think awesome 80's nighttime soaps amped up with drama) and finally a new show 666 Park Avenue.  I think this show will probably be good.  John Locke is back and as creepy as ever.  I will also be watching a lot of Sunday Night Football this fall.  Yay!

Mondays

• The only possible show is Revolution on NBC.  The previews look decent, but not totally exciting.  I'm giving it a shot. 

Tuesdays

• Another night where only one show looks good to me.  Vegas is on CBS and is about Las Vegas in the 1960's.  I think there's a mix of wild west sheriffs and big city mob bosses who clash it up.  It looked pretty good.

Wednesdays

• Arrow on the CW will probably be terrible.  I'm going to watch just so I can see if it's the good side of terrible or the crap side.

Thursdays

• Finally a decent night of television!  First up is ABC with Last Resort.  This show does not look good to me, but I will watch it to see Scott Speedman.  I love Scott Speedman and wish that Felicity was still on so that I could see him every week. 
• The Vampire Diaries is back on the CW.  I still think this is one of the best shows on TV that not enough people give credit to.  Every episode is a game changer.  Literally.  It's like every episode so much happens that it feels like you just watched 3 hours of TV.  If you aren't watching this show, please do.  You won't regret it.  And for those who need to catch up, it is available on netflix instant.
• CBS has another one of my favorite shows from last year Person of Interest.  I love the combination of Jim Caviezel and Michael Emerson (Ben from Lost).  They are a perfect odd ball pairing.  After POI there is a new show debuting called Elementary.  I have mixed feelings about this one.  It's a Sherlock Holmes reboot set in modern times.  It will either be terrible or brilliant.  But, I have a feeling it's going to be terrible.

Fridays

• America's Next Top Model is back.  If the show doesn't improve, I am out.  Last seasons British invasion was so terrible.  The models were awful, the challenges were lame, the pictures really dull and unattractive and the final challenges were so stupid.  I think Tyra's lost her marbles.  This is it's last chance to keep me.  And if you lose me as a viewer, then you are really doing something wrong.  Also, did anyone watch the British invasion season?  In the beginning, they painted the girls lips to look like either the American flag or the British flag and it was the most distressing thing I've ever seen. 
• Grimm has already started on NBC.  Have you guys been watching?  I love Grimm.  The characters are so great and the story lines are really fun and engaging.  Plus, it's graphic. 

So, there you have my TV schedule.  I guess less sitting on my butt means better possibility of exercising.  However, I have a feeling that this lame fall television schedule will make me bored around January.  Are there any shows that I'm missing?

You Can Buy Crap

Have you ever been in a store where you see something that truly blows your mind?  I often have that experience when I go into Menards.  Menards is awesome.  You can buy ANYTHING at Menards.  Need a book, come to Menards.  Need some paintbrushes, come to Menards.  Need candy, or tulip bulbs, or Halloween decorations...come to MENARDS.  Seriously, they have everything you need and everything that you don't want. 

Here's an example:

Need a toilet seat cover with jumping trout on it?  Just head on over to Menards and you can find one.  Nothing will beautify and modernize your bathroom more than this.  It's a Fashion Soft Seat.

Oh wait, you're more of a woodsy person.  Well, you are in luck because Menards also carries these:

A toilet seat cover with timber wolves!  Gorgeous!  And MADE IN USA! 

Of course, if you find yourself having a difficult time deciding between the two, just buy both.  You won't regret it. 

Who buys this crap?

Things I'm Excited For

I've started to feel that coolness in the air that we get in late summer nights.  Although, I really believe that summer is far from over.  Or is that just the optimism talking? 

On that note, I'm really, really, really looking forward to this fall.  There's so much good stuff happening that I can hardly stand it.  My big fear is that I won't have quite enough time to really enjoy the season, but c'est la vie.  I'll try to enjoy as much of it as time allows me.

On that note, here's my list of the Fall Things I'm Excited For:

• The Wedding.  I can't wait.  I feel like there's so anticipation for the actual wedding, but I really can't wait to be married.  The wedding and all of the pre-wedding festivities are going to be so much fun and so special to me.  I get a little bit sentimental when talking about it all; it feels like an event that has already happened and when I think of it, I'm just remembering it fondly. 
• Fall Football.  I'm not really a football fan.  I will admit that.  But, Mike loves football and he likes to have friends over to watch football which means I get to do my favorite thing: cook for other people!  I love making pulled pork and dips and brownies and can't wait to have excuses to cook like a maniac.
• Fall Movies.  There's nothing I love more than going to the movie theatre.  This is evidenced by the fact that every "Things I'm Excited For" post has movies in its list.  However, I don't know a ton about the big movies coming out this fall.  With the wedding planning craziness, I just haven't paid all that much attention, but I'm still looking forward to seeing some great movies in a cozy theatre with my buttered popcorn.  One huge highlight will be the Breaking Dawn movie.  I'm excited about the movie and to see the awkwardness between Edward and Bella at the premieres.  I feel like a fourteen-year-old.
• House Decorating.  I have amassed quite a collection of Halloween/fall decor.  I'm not a great home decorator, but I like putting up seasonal decorations.  I just think it warms up the house and sets a festive mood.  I can't wait to break out my pumpkins and leaves and really jazz up my house.  It's looking pretty boring right now.  
• House Organization.  Once the wedding is over, I am doing a full home re-organization.  Since moving out of my mom's house, I've never lived in a place for longer than a year and a few months.  Which was nice because every time I moved, I'd purge.  Mike's been living in his house for two years and me for almost a year and a half.  We need to purge.
• Chili.  Is this weird?  I love chili, but haven't made it since last winter.  Some days, it's all I think about.  What kinds of peppers will I put in the chili?  Should I add any new spices?  What kinds of meats should I use?  I'm drooling now.

Obviously, this fall will be hectic for me, but I'm really hoping to savor the season and slow things down a bit.  Do you want to know what I'm not excited for this fall?  TV.  Are there any new shows that look good?