Flights of Wonder

Flights of Wonder isn't a ride, but a bird show at the Animal Kingdom. I know what you are thinking. A bird show? WTF? I do not want to go to a bird show. And I never really do either, but then I get there and I laugh hysterically at all of the jokes about birds pooping on you, so I guess I really like bird shows. And jokes about poop.

This bird show is actually pretty neat. There's a lot of gags and actually quite a few birds. I'm not really a bird person, but I don't mind seeing a parrot like the one above on occasion. One thing that I hate about the show is that a lot of birds fly around the audience area and they tell you in the show that the birds are trained to hover over the audience members heads, so if you duck, they only fly lower. It freaks me out. They literally fly right at your head. Yes, Napoleon, they have large talons. And what if they had to poop???

But, no one worries about the pooping. They are too busy oohhing and aahhing over the damn birds. I am worried about birds crapping on me, so it's hard for me to relax during the show.

One thing I have noticed is that kids really love Flights of Wonder. I guess they don't know about birds defecating on your head either.

At the end of the show, they do something really neat and bring out the grand poobah, a real bald eagle! Can you hear the fanfares? It is actually spectacular. You never get to see a bald eagle up close and they are so regal looking and beautiful. The best is that the last time we were at the show, the bald eagle was crapping all over the place. America, here's our symbol of freedom!

Despite all of my anxiety, I really love this show. They have it various times throughout the day, so you can pick your time and cop a squat out of the heat to watch birds fly around and not crap on you. It's brilliant. 4/5 or 7/10 stars.