Tomorrowland Speedway

Somewhere past Fantasyland and at the beginning of Tomorrowland lies a racetrack of fear. Btw, are these technically Go Karts? I'm not really sure. It's basically little cars with room enough for two. You have steer, but you're on a fixed track, and you have to push down the pedal, which doesn't sound like much work, but beware that pushing down that pedal took all the energy I could muster and about 2 years off of my life.

I had never been on this ride before. There was always a long line and the whole go kart concept didn't really appeal to me. I had a bad experience on bumper boats as a child and even though it's not the same thing, I have this irrational aversion to bumper boats, cars and go karts. However, in my quest to rate all the rides at Disney, I decided to give this a whirl.

Well, that was a mistake.

Here's how my experience went: Stand in line for ride, discuss with my mother who will drive the car, I lose discussion and end up in driver's seat, realize that there's a complicated procedure for when and how you can start your car, realize that pushing the pedal will take both my foot and my mother's foot on top of my own, realize that the car's steering is incredibly finicky, realize that anytime the car is steered slightly off course it will hit the track and bounce you off the other side which results in a chain reaction of whiplash, realize that the whiplash causes you to take your concentration off the pedal and then cars behind you bump into you giving you more whiplash, realize that the grandpa in front of us has let his 7 year old granddaughter drive, 7 year old can't push the pedal down hard enough and so she keeps starting and stopping, this means I have to start and stop, people behind keep bumping into me....

Are you tired of reading yet? Well, about midway through the ride, I was so sick of the nonsense I wanted to just get up and walk off the track. Apparently this is frowned upon.

I certainly frown upon taking any part in this ride. 0/5 stars. Hated it.