Me, on Shopping

The chaos you see above is my closet. I love my closet. I love adding things to my closet. Some people, however, have the idea that I shop all the time and spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes. This is just not the truth. I shop all the time and spend non-ridiculous amounts of money on clothes because I am scrupulous about shopping. I have rules and I will share them with you now.

1. Only spend major amounts of moneys on things that no one else has or will ever have (with one exception...jeans). This means don't spend moneys on things at chain stores (Gap, Banana, A&F, etc.)
2. 20% off is not a sale, it's an enticement to buy. You are being suckered into buying things you don't need because of the claim of a sale. A sale is 40% off or more. 20% off is all smoke and mirrors.
3. Don't buy something trendy because it's trendy. Listen, I'll wear almost anything...I'm not a big fashion rules kind of gal. But I can't stand it when people wear trends that make them look terrible. It's like, yes you look very fashion forward and like you've been eating 50 doughnuts a day for the last year. Case in point...SKINNY JEANS...
4. Stalk online websites! It's the truth. STALK THEM LIKE IT'S YOUR EFFING JOB! There are many times when I have fallen in love with a dress or top that's too expensive. So, I wait till it goes on sale (remember 20% off is not a sale) and then usually say, gee, that's still a lot of money. As I hymn and haw about whether to buy the damn thing it's usually out in my size. But then I stalk the website repeatedly and relentlessly and then MAGIC, they have it in my size for about 70% off. How do you like them apples?
5. You will never regret spending money on jeans. Never. Ever.
6. If a fancier department store has terrible service, don't buy from them. I live and die by this rule. I stopped shopping at the Nordstrom store because of it. In the Nordstrom "savvy" department, nothing is cheaper than $150. That's a shit ton of moneys. But the sales girls are complete beeyotches and will barely acknowledge your paltry presence. So I never buy anything from them. Not a thing. At Len Druskin I'm greeted with a smile, hello and a damn glass of water, why should I settle for anything less?

These are my rules. Brilliant right?