When I was a kid and was planning my first trip to Walt Disney World, my mom got this book called Birnbaum's Guide to Walt Disney World. This guy, Birnbaum, was an expert at Walt Disney World and the book had all of these helpful tips and tricks on how to navigate the parks. I loved that book and used to study it religiously. I truly believe that I missed my calling as a travel book writer and trip planner.
Anyhow, one of Birnbaum's tips that I still use when I go to The Magic Kingdom park is always go to Adventureland first and work your way around to Tomorrowland. I think the logic here is that people tend to go to Fantasyland and Tomorrowland first (those are directly behind and to the right of Cinderella's castle), so if you go first to Adventureland (which is to the left of the castle) you will miss the crowds. I'm not sure that this is the truth anymore, but to this day, I have to go to Adventureland first.
One attraction in Adventureland that I often overlook is the Enchanted Tiki Room. On my last trip there, I realized that I had totally forgotten what happened at this weird little bird show and so my mom and I jumped in line. I'm really glad that we did because I forgot how funny and cute the Enchanged Tiki Room can be.
The Tiki Room is really a show where audioanimatronic birds sing to you. It sounds hokey, and ultimately it is hokey, but it's also pretty cute. Also, you are at Disneyworld, so don't worry so much about hokiness...it's all a little hokey. How many more times can I say hokey? There are birds from France, birds from Spain, birds from the rain forest and the are all gathering to sing rooms that will be stuck in your head all day. "In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room, in the tiki, tik, tiki, tiki, tiki room..." That's the only line I remember.
Alright, so you are seated in this round theatre and the show begins. The one thing that I don't like is that some of the birds voices are more annoying than others and the show is pretty long, so if you are stuck next to a terrible sounding bird it can be unnerving. Other than that, just sit back and enjoy the show. Again, this is one of those attractions that is good for a little rest and air-conditioning. Mind your necks, though, staring up at the birds can give you near paralysis. Also, if you are going to use this time to take a nap do not snore. It's just really rude to the birds.
3/5 or 7/10 stars. It's not the most fun or the most relevant, but it's a Disney classic and has some cute moments.
Do you all remember that feeling you'd get in school right before the holidays? That crazy,wild abandonment where you couldn't actually do any learning because you were so excited for vacation and presents and all the candy you could eat. I loved how the teachers surrendered to the fact that no one was paying attention and did Christmas arts and crafts or extra story time or secret santa stuff.
I'm feeling like that times a million-bajillion because I'm getting married in 2.5 weeks. And I'm not paying attention to anyone or anything. I just can't wait. I can't wait for the wedding, I can't wait to see how all of the planning has turned out, I can't wait to dance the night away with friends, I can't wait for people to see my dress, I can't wait to be Mike's wife. Mostly the last one. Mike and I are so excited to be married, we can hardly contain ourselves. Unfortunately, work isn't giving me a pass like my school teachers did. Concentrating these next two weeks is going to be difficult.
Which is why this morning was so weird. First off this morning, I looked in the front pocket of my work bag and didn't see my work keycard or office keys. Panic! I looked in my bag and there they were, safe and sound. I grabbed them to deposit into the front pocket where they belong. Next, I get to work and am walking up the bridge to my building when I hear this loud screaming man say: "STOP THE TRUCK! STOP THE TRUCK! I'M STILL FUCKING BACK HERE!" It was this really panicked voice too. So, I turn to my right and notice that this semi-truck is barreling up the bridge with the back gate open and a man leaning out trying to get the driver's attention. He was literally screaming at him all the way up the bridge. It was so scary.
When I finally get to the crosswalk at the top of the bridge, the semi-truck was nowhere to be seen. I start fishing in my front pocket to find my keys and can't find them. Which was impossible because they had to be there! But, they were not. They weren't in my bag anywhere. I have no idea what I did with them this morning. Organization fail. Luckily, I knew the deputy that was working the front door and he let me in without my keys.
When I got up to my desk, I put my lunch and can of diet coke into the refrigerator that is in the hallway outside my workspace. I do this every day. At lunchtime, I went to retrieve my goodies and someone had stolen my diet coke. That is shameful. Honestly, downright terrible. I wrote a note to the person about how I am a woman on the edge and they just stole the last bit of my sanity. It made me feel better, but I didn't put it on the fridge, I just threw it away.
So, yes, today has been a random day. And nothing has helped my insane wedding fever.
One of the things that I tend to take for granted about working in downtown St. Paul is the farmer's market. St. Paul has a large farmer's market open on the weekends, but during the summer they have a small market open Tuesday and Thursdays during the lunch hour. It's my absolute favorite. They line Seventh Place with vendors selling anything from raspberries to sweet corn to onions and flowers. I love watching the evolution of the growing season. In the spring you can get some snap peas, raspberries and radishes. Then you start seeing rhubarb and herbs and a few green onions and leeks. The height of the season you get a huge variety of vegetables and then it winds down with apples and squash and pumpkins.
While the market is currently in the wind down phase, I was still able to get some goods yesterday. Tons of small red onions, roma tomatoes, green beans and yukon gold potatoes all for $9. The onions will last us at least a week (Mike loves his onions), the tomatoes will be good for 3 batches of salsa, the green beans will make for 2 dinners and the potatoes should be available for at least 4 dinners. I know it's dorky, but I love being able to support local farmers, I love eating vegetables that are straight from the ground and I love the fact that it's so much cheaper than in the grocery store.
In Minnesota, it's tough to be able to eat healthy fruits and vegetables all year round. Not much grows here in February, so everything you can get is shipped in and probably sprayed with a billion chemicals. Plus, I get so sick of the winter fruits. There's only so many oranges and grapefruits and pears that I can eat before I get bitter. I can feel winter coming in the air and the farmer's market is one of those things that I will really miss when the snow starts flying. For now, I'm going to relish in my vegetables and think of spring.
I know I have told this story before, but it bears repeating here. I was once stopped by door-to-door Mormons and it was a terrifying experience. I was walking my dad's dog Ramsey on a cool spring afternoon. It had just started raining and I was about 4 blocks from my house. I was turning from a busy road onto a more private residential street when 3 young women on bikes started racing towards me. I just thought they were biking so quickly so that they could get out of the rain, but they were actually ambushing me. So, there I was in the rain, walking a dog and suddenly surrounded by 3 women asking me questions about my faith. They literally blocked my path on the sidewalk and surrounded us. It was unnerving and they did not let me go very easily. They asked me what religion I was and I responded "Roman Catholic" and they asked me why I believed in Catholocism. Not exactly the conversation that I want to have in the rain ladies. Also, one thing that most people should know is that you should never box in a person on a walk with their dog. Dogs don't take to that kindly.
Anyhow, Under the Banner of Heaven is an extremely intriguing book. I knew nothing of the history of Mormons and this gave a good understanding of who they are and where they came from. It also tells the story of modern day Mormons and how there are really two factions, the Church of Latter Day Saints and the fundamentalist Mormons. Krakauer actually starts the book with a horrific murder committed by fundamentalist Mormons who were acting in the name of God. Which is something that I've never understood. How do we get from religion to murder?
Another topic that the book discusses quite a bit is the Mormon belief of polygamy. The Church of Latter Day Saints officially denounces polygamy, however, fundamentalist Mormons still practice it and are apparently very out in the open with their multiple wivery in small town Utah. I don't like to criticize people for their religion, but polygamy is a terrible thing. Like so terrible that I can't even believe it still happens in modern day society. The problem with multiple wives is that it's a sign of male dominance over women and, as the book shows, often results in women being sexually assaulted and thinking that it ain't nothing. Women truly believe they are the property of their husbands. As in "She's not my wife, she's my property." Gross.
The book is very informative and I especially enjoyed learning more about the beginnings of Mormonism and how quickly the religion became mainstream. If you don't know the story of Mormonism and it's founder Joseph Smith, you really should read this book (or at the very least google that shit) because it's pretty unbelievable.
I would say 4/5 or 8/10 stars.
I'm starting a new thing here on the blog. I've seen some really weird signs lately, so let's talk about them. Here's the first one:
I received this brochure in the mail. It made me laugh...and cringe. This really screams "Rich People Problems", doesn't it? Because, obviously, everyone has a maid. So, the question isn't whether you are happy with the cleanliness of your home, it's whether you are happy with your maid. And the only thing worse than being mad at your maid is being pissed at your butler.
Okay, I'll let you in on a secret. I am my own maid (and to be fair, Mike does his share of cleaning the house). I know, it's pretty shocking. If I don't scrub the toilets, they don't get scrubbed. There are some days that I really want to fire myself. Like today, I noticed a lot of dust on the blinds (cleaning the blinds is the worst) and thought hot damn I need to fire my maid. But, I can't bring myself to fire myself.
So, I threw the weird brochure in the trash.
Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but I've been sick. AND I FEEL SOOOOOOOO SICK. I hate being such a baby, but I do not take the sniffles well. So, I took a couple of days off of work because my boss is on vacation and I thought laying on my couch would make me feel infinitely better. But, it did not! I just felt lazy and stressed and depressed.
I watched a lot of TV. The Food Channel cracks me up. Have y'all ever watched the show $10 Dollar Dinners? What the eff is going on with that show? First, the lady host talks about her rice cooker in every episode. I've seen the show only 3-4 times, but in every show she's made rice, dressed it up by adding onions, and mentioned that she loves her rice cooker and got it for $5 at a drugstore. First, why are you talking about this in every episode? Also, why would you buy a rice cooker at a drugstore? Finally, I would have to disagree with her on buying cheap appliances. I will give a good rule of thumb, an appliance should cost more than $20. Cheap appliances are cheap for a reason.
But at least the $10 Dollar Dinners lady pretends to cook. Unlike Sandra Lee, who totally enjoys doing as little cooking as possible. Her show makes me cringe worse than Paula Deen's voice. Yesterday she was making fish tacos and had come up with a decoration for your platter. She suggested taking Post-It notes in various colors, shredding the ends with a scissor so it looked like fringe and then sticking it to the platter. It looked like crizzap. Plus, the taco recipe was to fry tilapia chunks, warm up tortillas, put cabbage on the tortillas, put the fish on the tacos and put a sour cream mix on top. Folks, come to my kitchen every week and I will show you a better taco recipe than this. Then she was making tamales, but didn't want to spend the money on the cornhusks, so was just wrapping up beans and corn mixture into parchment paper. Bobby Flay would probably die if he saw that.
I also had the privilege of watching most of the first season of Gossip Girl. Oh Lord, was that show great. The tragedy of Gossip Girl is that it had really bad timing. For example, they didn't introduce Vanessa at the right time which killed her whole character. Vanessa was introduced in the 6th or 7th episode, right after Dan and Serena got together. She was a buzzkill and had nothing compelling to offer except being a thorn in Dan and Serena's relationship. They should have introduced her in episode 1 or in Season 2.
Anyways, I feel better and am hoping to get back on track the next few days. Does anyone know a fool proof way of keeping colds away? I have one month until the wedding and need to stay a healthy bee until then.
