And Then There Were 5

Well, color myself pleased because I have read 5 books this year. And it's only February. I feel accomplished...yes, that's right it doesn't take much.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime made me happy, and a little bit anxious. I loved this story, it was totally unique and perhaps helped people to understand autism a bit better. The story also had a lot of twists and turns and many moments that come up and smack you in the face. There's nothing I love more than being sucker punched by a good book.

I had two main problems. 1. I couldn't get behind the mother and father...they were both so selfish and did things to their son that I just couldn't imagine. 2. The main character is autistic, which means that there are portions of the book that are hyper chaotic because that's what a stressful situation is like for him. I loved this because it made me appreciate what it's like to be autistic more, but it also left me with a headache and major anxiety. So, maybe ask Kara for one of her magic pills before reading the ending.

Overall...4/5 or 8/10 stars.

March's Eve Cocktails!!

I'm thinking of having a cocktail party for March's Eve. My apartment has been begging me to throw some type of a party (don't worry the mice are gone), so perhaps this is the perfect opportunity.

I've got to think of a signature drink, something old-fashioned like a gimlet or sidecar. It won't be this drink to the right here, while it looks lovely, it also looks like it tastes like alcohol and I don't drink anything that tastes like alcohol. They have to taste like kiddy cocktails, except with alcohol. And yes, it can be done. Two years ago, I made mojitos that everyone complained didn't have enough rum in them. Well, an hour later we had gone through 2 pitchers of these "rumless" mojitos and surprisingly 2 bottles of rum. Bitches were so drunk they had to crawl to the bar.

Three Book Reviews

I'm now up to 4, count them 4 books read in 2009. It's like a mini-miracle because I'm the slowest effing reader alive. Here are the reviews:

Oryx and Crake, by Margaret Atwood
A friend once told me this story about turkeys that were being genetically engineered by a turkey manufacturer without beaks and with oversized bellies. It meant that the turkeys couldn't peck at the workers and would be larger for our Thanksgiving dinners, but apparently the sight of it was kind of sad. The birds were too fat to really move around because their stomachs would drag on the ground and they were beakless. If Atwood is correct in this book, then these turkeys are the start of something truly awful. Chickie Nob anyone?

I wanted this book to be brilliant and interesting, but instead it was really good and interesting. Atwood's a little bit out there and I feel like she's really hit or miss. This was a hit, but not a brilliant hit. It's a subtle difference, much like Britney Spears and Christian Aguilera.

4/5 or 7/10 stars.

The Nine, by Jeffrey Toobin
I would have sung from the heavens about this book if it weren't for the last 50 pages or so. The book basically tells the hidden stories from the "Rehnquist" court. It has a lot of gossip and interesting stories about how weird and human the justices are. I think I liked this book so much because I'm uber nerdy when it comes to the law, so it sort of fit in with that. Plus I love to gossip, so it fit in with that as well.

However, I can't forgive Toobin for the what happened to the book after Rehnquist dies. I would have loved this book if he had just stopped after that, it would have been perfect. But, he didn't, instead he went on about John Roberts and Alito and other shit that I don't care about. The worst thing you can do to a book is to have a concentrated focus and then write numerous pages completely outside of that focus. It's a cardinal sin of writing and Toobin committed it! Damn him.

4/5 or 8/10 stars

Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpa Lahiri
This was another book that I wanted to be so, so good. And part of it was and part of it was just meh. It's a collection of short stories focusing on Indian culture and love. Some are tragic and sad and others are uplifiting. Some are riveting and others are just boring.

My favorite was one called Blessed House where this Indian couple move into their first house and find these cheap, gaudy Jesus icons all over the house. It reminded me of the time when I lived in Morrison Hall with Kara and Ro and we found this secret compartment in a kitchen drawer. We were so excited to find out what could be in this drawer (we knew something was in it, it just took a little bit of effort to get it) and Kara went in and our little college hearts fluttered with excitement and all she pulled out was an old bag of those chow mien noodle things.

Anywho...3/5 or 6/10 stars.

ROGER!!

Last year towards the end of January, Kadie had a fabulous birthday party at Nye's. I had way too much fun if you know what I mean. The night began with a rousing rendition of "She's Too Fat for Me" sung by the accordion lady and ended with someone (I won't say who) telling a bouncer that she was a good girlfriend because she's busty and not a whore. Somewhere in between all of this Becca and I met Roger.

Roger practically lives at Nye's, I've never been there and not seen him. Roger also loves him some ladies and will ask any of them to dance (his dance card is always full and he only gets 1 break in about 3 hours). Also, Roger is 92 years old give or take a few years. On that fateful night last January, Roger asked Becca and I to dance and we obliged. About twenty minutes after the dances Roger came back to us with a Christmas card that he had written out to Rebecca and "Molly". That's how he wrote my name, complete with quotes, my name was only alleged to Roger. The Christmas card has become famous and Becca and I even included it in an equally famous photo session.

This past weekend, Becca and I had the wonderful opportunity to see Roger again. He had a full night of dancing with the ladies, but still made time for us and even wrote us his last Christmas card of the year. In addition Roger told us there were some men there that night who were flirting with us because "they were looking for wives", asked us if we were looking for husbands and frowned upon us going to Vegas Lounge by ourselves and giving our numbers out to the men who were looking for wives (which btw, we didn't).

So, ladies, if you're ever looking for a hot date and good fun on a Friday or Saturday night, polka on down to Nye's and look for the old man in a sweater out on the dance floor. If you stand there long enough alone, he'll ask you to dance. You won't regret it, although, you'll only get a holiday card December 1 - the first weekend in February!

Feb's Eve Goal: Become A ...

"People ask the question...what's a RocknRolla? And I tell 'em - it's not about drugs, drums, and hospital drips, oh no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of the good life - some the money, some the drugs, other the sex game, the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why? Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot."

-Archie

This February people better watch out because this movie will become like my new bible. I will consult the movie to make all of my life decisions. Why will I do this? Because this move is A-MAZ-ING!! (And if you were hearing my voice just now singing the word Amazing in an operatic tone then you know me very well. Kudos and gold stars for you!)

It's amazing for many reasons, but here's the top three:

1. The dance scene - if you see it you will know what I'm talking about.

2. The chase scene - ditto, and bravo to Guy Ritchie for making me laugh harder than any comedy movie has ever made me laugh (and btw, this is not a comedy movie).

3. Mark Strong - he plays Archie and I want to have his babies. Lots of little badass, rocknrolla babies.

Feb's Eve will be all about a new outlook on life. This movie is my new outlook, except less violent and with much more awkward dancing.

People are Weird About Books

People really are kind of strange about books. For instance, some people will only read a certain type of book or a certain author or books that aren't over 100 pages and they read thousands of these and call themselves "well-read". Books are like cereal to me, there's so much goodness to choose from I cannot commit myself to one brand or flavor.

Anyhow, I've found out that there's a whole community of people out there who participate in "book challenges". You go to a website and it will say something like "Read 5 long Russian novels in 6 months." And then you sign up and give the names of the Russian novels and at the end of it you either feel like a complete success or a complete failure! But lists are involved, so automatically I feel like this is something that I need to be a part of. Because am I wrong or is there no other satisfaction like checking something off of a list.

Well, this year I am going to join these freaks in their book challenges. Except, I'm not going to commit myself to "Russian novels", "chick-lit" or the "100 books in a year challenge". I'm just going to start a challenge where I read books and we'll see how many I get to.

First Up:


I started the LOTR trilogy about a year ago and finally finished. Fellowship of the Rings was great, The Two Towers was like swimming through molasses in January and The Return of the King was great (except the second to last chapter "The Scouring of the Shire", which was unnecessary and dull, I really don't care about hobbits...only elves).

As I was reading the book I realized that I don't remember the movie at all. What I do remember about ROTK was being so embarassed in the movie theatre because I was bawling at the end of it and couldn't control myself. The book was no different. But, I still don't get it and *SPOILER ALERT* is going to the grey havens just another way of saying I'm going to die? But seriously, what I don't get is Bilbo had that ring for years and he was able to live for a long time (he's bat shit crazy at the end, but still livng and btw, can you imagine what he's like in Rivendell? I'm sure he's the crazy uncle that everyone ignores, but the elves must just be like WTF are we doing with this guy?) so why not Frodo?

And also, does it seem to anyone else like Gandalf maybe doesn't know as much or have as much power as we would think he does? Either that or he's just kind of a shitty friend because he's always abandoning hobbits in their time of need. The only power we ever really see from Gandalf is his ability to make fireworks and that was when he was Gandalf the Grey. I kept thinking come on Gandalf...do something cool and wizardry...you're Gandalf the White now. And then he wouldn't do anything except talk and that wouldn't get much accomplished.

Anyways, I can check this book off my list now. And I'll give it 5/5 stars, or 8/10 stars. You pick.

2009 Comes with Mice

That's right...mice. The other day I was relaxing at home when I saw a mouse scamper out of my bedroom closet and under my bed. I screamed, twice. Then I saw another (or the same, who can tell) mouse run around in the closet. He didn't make it out because I screamed again and he ran back in. Of course they would have to infest the closet, out of every other room, that's where all of my investments are stored.

Since I never asked for a roommate, I went out and bought this unwanted houseguest a nice buffet of poisonous pills to dine on for the evening. I generously scattered the pills throughout my apartment and left my little squatter to dine in peace while I went out drinking.

I'm trying to think positive, but 2009 just doesn't seem like it's going to be my year.