Thursday, November 20, 2014
Monster's Laugh Floor
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the one Disneyworld attraction that I will never again go to. In fact, I'd call this the most horrible of the Disneyworld attractions.
Fun fact about me: I am really great at public speaking. I can rock any kind of prepared speech or presentation. But I hate being called out in front of a large group of people. It actually makes my blood run cold and my bones go rigid. I can't move, think, or speak. It's the most awful feeling in the world. You can imagine how I felt about the socratic method of teaching that law schools use to question you during classes.
When Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor first opened in Tomorrowland, I was excited to try it out. I loved the movie Monsters, Inc. It's still one of my favorite Disney movies. I remember going into the theatre the first time completely unaware of what was going to happen. I thought it would be a fun little movie where the seats squirted water at you, like Mickey's Philharmonic in Fantasyland. I was wrong. Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor is nothing like that.
Here's the setup, Monsters, Inc. needs to collect laughs to refill their power source. So they are going to do this comedy show to get the crowd laughing. Comedy is great, but this comedy was at the audience's expense.
What transpires in the 15 minutes that you are in the theatre is horrific. There is a camera somewhere that randomly selects people in the audience and puts their picture up on a screen in front of HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. Then they make fun of you. I'm not even joking. Everyone in a room is laughing at a joke made at your expense. It's absolutely terrible. You never know if your ugly mug will be the next one projected onto a screen the size of a movie theatre screen. The anxiety that swept through me during my one and only time at the Laugh Floor attraction probably took a year or two off of my life.
I walked out safe because I didn't make it onto the big screen, but I vowed to never again step foot in the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor. This attraction is truly terrible. Skip it. Always skip it. It's my dream to give the Laugh Floor its final and eternal shepherd hook.