Friday, May 18, 2012

Random Acts of Douchebaggery

I'm really excited about this post because I have something to get off of my chest.  I have some neighbors that I really, really, really dislike.  Sometimes when I see them, I have to walk away for fear that I will start screaming at them.  My dislike runs deep.

They actually aren't our neighbors exactly.  They live on a street that runs perpendicular to ours and they don't own the house that they are living in, they rent it.  When you own a house, renters in your neighborhood are the lowest form of life.

Anyhow, our house is an older house that was built prior to the idea that attached garages are the BEST THINGS EVER.  Our house was also built in the time when people loved alleys.  We don't have a driveway, so if you want to get to our non-attached garage, you have to drive down the alley.  Typically, Mike and I don't utilize the garage because it's much easier to park on the street in front of our house.  That is, it's easier as long as we can get a spot in front of our house.

Enter the two assclowns that rent the house that isn't even on our street.  The first annoying thing about them is that they keep odd hours.  I'm not sure if they are in college (they look too old for that) or if they work night jobs or just part-time hours?  They seem to be home all day, clogging up the streets for parking, and then gone all night long.  The second annoying thing is that they will park in front of any one's house without a care in the world.  Most of the people on my block have at least one car parked on the street which is not a problem because you just park in front of your own house.  But, these jerks will park wherever there is an opening and then you come back home with bags full of groceries and you have to park 6 houses down.

Our neighbor went to talk to them about it a few months after they moved in last summer.  He explained to them that they had a driveway, a garage and street parking right in front of their house, so it would be preferable if they could use those parking spaces so that the people who needed the parking spaces on our street (because no house on our street has a driveway) could park in front of their own house.  Their response was "You don't have the right to control who parks in front of your house."  And they are right, but my neighbor astutely responded to them "This isn't Uptown, this is the suburbs."  

Things got worse this winter when there were snow emergencies and the assclows never moved their cars.  The city didn't tow them, but instead just plowed around them leaving huge snowbanks on the sides of the street in front of people's houses.  Which is really annoying because the people that own their houses pay taxes for things like snow removal and because these jerks couldn't move their cars to the driveway, the street wasn't properly plowed.  It was also annoying because no one could park in those spaces until the snow melted.

The final annoying thing about these total douchebags is that when they park behind you, they park extremely close.  See the picture above, that's how they park.  Nice, right.  It's no wonder these two are the most hated people in our neighborhood. 

No comments: