Lately, one of my favorite activities is at-home movie night. I just love being at home in my pajamas, putting out some great movie snacks, cuddling with Kirby and Mike on the couch and popping in our latest Netflix pick. This past weekend, we watched Moneyball, which will now forever be known to me as The Most Boring Movie Ever Made.
The first 40 minutes go something like this: long, lingering shot of a dark Oakland A's stadium with deep, thoughtful music being played; cut to Brad Pitt as Billy Beane sitting in the Oakland A's stadium thinking; you can tell he's thinking because of the music; now cut to some flashbacks of A's games; they are losing Johnny Damon, some other juicehead and another guy I've never heard of; you can tell this is bad by the somber look on Billy Beane's face and the music that's being played...what's that you say, it's been 10 minutes without any dialogue; now we get dialogue, a bunch of men fighting with zippy one-liners; 1 minute of dialogue is enough, let's get more shots of the stadium, Billy Beane working out, and Billy Beane walking down a long hallway, and add in some really pensive music; okay now let's get to Jonah Hill and sure, we'll throw in a couple of minutes of dialogue between Jonah and Billy Beane, but only TWO MINUTES; here's Jonah waddling down the long hallway to the A's offices he is pensive and so is the music; a little bit more dialogue ending with a zippy one-liner; and now Billy Beane and Jonah looking at clips of baseball players.
This shit was more boring than all of Gram's scenes on Dawson's Creek COMBINED. I was tortured while watching it. For any of you who haven't yet seen it, just wikipedia it and save yourself the 2 hours and 20 minutes that it will take to watch it. It's not that awesome of a story, the performances are nothing spectacular and the music isn't as good as the Facebook movie. So, there Moneyball, I thought you sucked.
For the record, the snacks above clockwise from top are: a mix of Sno-Caps and Whoppers; Zen Party Mix from Target; microwave popcorn.