Quote of the Day

Here's one of my favorites from court recently...

Q: What do you think of your wife's diagnosis?
A: You know, she's 60, so she's kind of done anyways.
Q: But do you know what her diagnosis is?
A: She's just too old.
Q: The doctors said she has dementia, does she?
A: Well, she don't cook me dinner no more.

There you have it, when a woman stops cooking her husband dinner, it must mean she has dementia.

Quote of the Day

"Pizza is flabulous."
-My Mikey

It was a slip of the tongue, but upon further reflection I think flabulous is a good word for what pizza is.

Quote of the Day

"I can't make it then, I have to be up on the hill. You know, I used to run the State of Minnesota."

-A MN State Senator, DFL, who is clearly not bitter at all about Republican's running the house

P.S. If you ask me in person, I'll tell you who it was.

Quote of the Day

Coworker: What's going on with you and Julia? Ed. note: Julia is another coworker, but I changed her name to protect her identity.
Me: Well, we are in a cold war right now over the Tuesday afternoon calendar.
Coworker: Yikes. I'd keep that war cold. She's much larger than you.

Quote of the Day

"I apologized to her personally through facebook."
-An American youth explaining how she smoothed over a fight with a peer.

Quote of the Day

Mike: I totally got trapped into a 10 minute conversation by him. It sucked.

Me: He never does that to me. Sometimes I'm really happy that I'm so awkward to talk to.

On another note, I have a TON of blog posts swirling in my head. And they are good too. But, work is when I usually do my posting and work is so busy that I don't have the time right now. Stay tuned because I'm going to try to crank them out ASAP.

Quote of the Day

Since I have been a bad blogger, I'll throw a quote of the day out there for good measure. "When I was a teenager, my parents were so worried that I was going to get myself pregnant. So, every summer they forced me to go to Iowa for the entire summer." This sums up what my dad always says. Idiots Out Walking Around.

Quote of the Day

Attorney: You will not participate in any activity that could cause harm to you or to others.
Client: No, I'm a Catholic.

Quote of the Day

"I started drinking again after I caught that new domestic assault charge."
- Defendant

Word to the wise...watch out, apparently crime is contagious. Since I'm around crime daily, I better watch out or I might catch it.

Quote of the Week

Me: Have fun at the allergy doctor.
Mom: I will. I love getting poked.

Quote of the Day

Here's something I'm sure no mother ever wants to hear...

Question: Why did you go to your mother's house?
Answer: Well, every time I see her she's gotten a little bit older. She doesn't have much time left, I mean she's getting pretty old...she's almost 65.

Quote of the Day

You would probably have to see the movie Clash of the Titans to really understand, but as I was walking out of the movie this past weekend, I was behind 3 of the biggest geeks I've ever seen. They were probably about 20 years old and I think it was a really big deal that they were out of their basements and not playing World of Warcraft or whatever people play in their basements. They were loving on this movie and one geek said to another:

"A glowing sword, winged horse and a hot chick. What an awesome dad!"

Just to give background about the movie...It centers around Perseus who is a demigod meaning that his mother was mortal and his father is Zeus. So he's sort of powerful except also mortal. Anyhow, he's going on an epic journey (aren't these people always doing awesome shit like that?) and Zeus anonymously helps him out along the way by sending him things. One of the things was a sword that glows and only he can wield and another was a Pegasus. Then towards the end of the movie this girl that Perseus had some hot chemistry with, and was also a demigod, is killed and Perseus is totally bummed. BUT then he meets up with Zeus who is all please come to Olympus and Perseus is all hellz to the no. And Zeus is disappointed, but then tells him that he loves him and is going to give him one last gift and it's bringing this hot chick back to life.

Hope this quote makes more sense after my awesome synopsis!

KStew Slays Me

I just read this quote on people.com from an interview with Kristen Stewart (of Twilight fame) regarding filming of her new movie New Moon:

"I always had a really hard time figuring out 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?'"

I'm pretty certain I know the answer here. It's no, right? I mean, I have cinder blocks in my basement that emote more pain than she could on a good day.

Side note (and sorry about this one, I can't hold it in). I've always had a question about Bella and Edward's relationship. What do they do at Bella's special time of the month? Seriously. Think about it.

Quote of the Week

This quote happened whilst browsing the framed "artwork" section of IKEA:

Kara: Molly's really good at finding studs.
Molly: I am not, however, so good at nailing them.

Feel free to laugh out loud now.