Sometimes Christmas can get the best of a person...as it did me this year. Prior to our wedding, which was October 19, things were crazy busy. I was overwhelmed. People kept asking how they could help or what tasks they could do, but it wasn't the amount of things it was a general feeling of disorganization and the sense that there was no way to organize it.
The absolute worst day for me was the day before our wedding. Our house was an absolute disaster. We had one of Mike's coworkers staying at our house the night of the wedding to take care of Kirby. Mike's friends were going to be getting ready at our house prior to the wedding. One of Mike's good friends was going to be staying at our house the week after the wedding while we were on our honeymoon. I was mortified that these people were going to see my house. I can't even explain the mortification of it. It is something that I actually have to repress deep down inside of me and totally forget because the pain of remembering how dirty our house was and how many people saw it like that might kill me. At the time, though, there was no time for me to clean it. I was working full-time, nights were taken up with wedding appointments; it was a disaster.
Before the wedding I kept thinking that once we were back from San Francisco, everything would calm down and I could just spend my nights and weekends nesting away. This just didn't happen. My days at work were spent in frantic disarray. Work was busy. I came in early, left late and didn't take lunch breaks. Then I went on a girls' weekend trip. Mid-November, Mike was gone for a week long training in Alabama and I decided to deep clean the house. Serenity now. Right? Wrong.
When Mike got back I realized that Christmas was a mere month away. Our thank you cards were not finished, I hadn't even considered Christmas gifts for anyone, only a few wedding gifts were put away, work was still busy... This started a month long frenzy of the holidays. I worked long hours at finishing the thank you cards. Almost immediately afterwards I started working on our Christmas cards. I spent two days ordering multiple gifts online only to have some orders not go through or others be back ordered. We put up our holiday decorations, but still had stacks of boxes of wedding presents that needed to be put away.
What I'm trying to get at is that my soul is exhausted. The last few months have been the best as I've been enjoying newlywed bliss, but all of that fun and excitement has left me tired and aching for calm. I've spent the beginning of this month in various states of relaxation and it's been nice. Slowly I've been getting my motivation back and I'm feeling better about tackling life. Yay!