Things I Don't Understand

• Amish people on planes.  The above photo is snapped at an airport baggage carousel.  Wouldn't flying on a plane be everything that the Amish are against?  I mean, I can't imagine they are driving around those buggies for the fun of it.  Did this lady not get the memo that the Amish are opposed to anything that powers itself with an engine?  I've actually seen a lot of "Amish" people on planes.  I always wonder where they are going and if they would be thrown from the village if it was ever discovered that they were on a plane.  I also wonder if there is a lot of shame in being on that plane.  I bet this woman had shame.  Especially if she was seated anywhere near the girl in the VS sweats with the word "Pink" written across her ass. 
• Rachel Ray.  In some ways, I like her.  Homegirl does what she wants and she's made millions on the idea that you can make an amazing dinner in 30 minutes (you cannot).  However, I often watch her cooking show (I've never seen the talk show) and can't imagine how people don't get that what she's selling isn't real.  Try to make one of her meals in 30 minutes.  It's not possible AND your kitchen is a disaster and a half afterwards.  She uses at least 3 pots/pans/baking dishes for every meal.  I also don't think her food tastes all that great.  She always uses one ingredient too many and her food is overly flavorful.  Blurgh.  Yes, something can be overly flavorful.
• Auto turn-on sinks.  Where exactly do you have to place your hands to get these bastards to turn on?
• Low fat cheese.  Do not try to argue with me about this.  Low fat cheese is gross.  The only thing more vile is no fat cheese.  Plus, I think when they take the fat out of the cheese they just replace it with plastic.  Have you seen melted low fat cheese?  If that's not plastic, then I don't know what plastic is.
• Microwave TV dinners.  I know a ton of people bring these to work for lunch, but I don't get it.  They taste terrible and they are not filling.  Plus, you are basically microwaving the food in a flimsy plastic container with a sheet of plastic on top.  Have you guys not read about plastic in our food?  Not that I never heat up anything in a plastic container, but that plastic film really grosses me out.  Why don't we just start microwaving things in saran wrap. 

Wow, I'm extra cranky today.  I better go find a Diet Coke to help cheer me up.