The Secret Garden

The Secret Garden is one of those books that I've always wondered about, but never cared enough to read. Until it was free on kindle, then I'd read it at will. My first thought about this book was that being a rich kid in olden day England is awesome because all you have to do is wander around the house and play. I wish I could do that now.

So, in The Secret Garden, our hero Mary is an annoying, bratty child. Her parents die and she's shipped to live with some rich uncle in the English countryside. It's boring in England because all the servants have better shiz to do than entertain Mary, so she's left to her lonesome. It's clear, though, that Mary really needed this tough love and her behavior improves the longer she's left alone. Right, because that always happens with kids.

In Mary's lonesome time, she discovers a secret garden and, as luck would have it, stumbles upon the key to get into the garden. It's been locked up by her crazy, rich uncle who is mourning his dead wife. Mystery and intrigue abound when Mary hears crying in the house, but can't find the source of the tears. Boo hoo, Mary!

We all know that heroines tend to be plucky, so Mary will not be deterred from her mission of finding the whiny crier. I really wanted Mary to not find that little crap Colin because man was he a downer. Mary, however, does find the crier, Colin, and discovers he is her cousin who is house bound because he believes he is a cripple. Bollocks to that shiz Colin, have you been taking crazy pills, you're no cripple. Mary just thinks he's a whiny bitch and so starts taking him out to the garden where finally he's challenged to stand up on his own two legs. When he finally stands he realizes what the reader has known all along, that he's actually not a cripple, just really lazy and obnoxious.

The ending is pretty tame. I was hoping for Colin to get killed by a wild goat, but that doesn't happen. Colin is actually reunited with his crazy dad who is no longer sad about his dead wife because he can now run around with his annoying son. I hope these two are happy together.

The Secret Garden is light and happy and uplifting. Those kind of books actually put me in a funk. 3/5 or 6/10 stars. Read it to little kids to stop them from being whiny and lazy like dumb Colin.