The Smithsonian is Awesome...and Weird

On my latest vacation to the nation's capital, I of course made a few stops at the Smithsonian Museums. They are so great. You could spend an entire vacation just doing that kind of stuff. But, there's also some weird things there. For instance:George Washington Cut Plug...or is it Gut Plug? Gut Plug would make it really weird. But what is it exactly? A toy or an actual apothecary item? I couldn't tell you because there was no sign. Something like this deserves a sign.

There was also:

The Exciting New Game of The Kennedys. I could think of many inappropriate jokes as to what happens in this game. But really, this is worse than my Sweet Valley High Game. I kind of imagine it like Life. You've Decided to Run for Office. You've Stumbled Into A Life of Drugs and Alcohol. You've Begun an Affair with a Musician.

Another thing I found was this: A can of Colt 45. I think this was in the Vietnam War section and there was a note next to it. I think the note said something like enjoy this in Nam. I don't know if this is really history worthy. If it was Miller Lite, it'd be another story.

Overall, the Smithsonian is all kinds of awesome. I'm wondering if these types of items are in there for a good laugh?

Things I Don't Understand

I realized I had many things I wanted to write about. Instead of doing the smart thing and saving them all up for future articles. I'm doing the dumb things and putting them all in one and calling it Things I Don't Understand. Really, it's Things I Want to Bitch About. Here they are:

• Skank-o-ween. I remember from college that Halloween is a time when girls can dress like total sluts. And I mean sluttier than they normally do. Which is fine, wear your short skirts, fishnets and low cut tops (I did, so I wont' judge). But, this year on Halloween the stakes were raised. I saw one girl wearing straight up lingerie. It wasn't even a costume, unless she went as a Victoria's Secret model. Another girl was wearing a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader costume. It was a size too small, which means that her ass was hanging out and the material was about a centimeter above her areola. I think next year she has to go naked. I get wanting to be a little bit out there on Halloween, but let's keep it a bit classy ladies.
• The Minnesota Vikings. I'm not a football fan, but Mike is, so I've been watching a lot of football. I don't hate it, I actually like watching sports on tv. I have to tell you, though, the Vikings are so painful to watch. It's so boring. Honestly, as a non-football person I can tell you what the Vikings play will be 75% of the time. Favre hands the ball to AP and he runs right up the middle. This whole thing with Moss leads me to believe that perhaps someone is intentionally sabotaging the team. It would make a move out of MN a whole lot easier. Seriously, who signs Randy Moss, never passes the ball to him and then lets him go? I'm a football idiot and I still know somethings fishy about that. Getting Ziggy with it indeed.
• Voting. Signing onto facebook this morning left me more annoyed than usual. Oh wait, what was that....do you want me to vote? Can someone else please update their status to either (a) tell me that they voted, (b) tell me that I should vote, (c) tell me how the DFL party totally rules or (d) a combination of the above. I get it, facebook peeps want me to vote. Your constant nagging about it is worse than the ad campaigns.

Okay, I think I'm done. Happy November everyone!

Hello Punkin

Meet Fred and Joseph. Joseph is the triangle eyed punkin and Fred is the scared soul punkin. When we opened Fred up to perform surgery, we found he had a tumor...Look at the tumor guts:

Sadness, but that is why Fred looks so scared. Because in his head, he's dealing with this...

That's the tumor. But our punkins are adorable. For Fred we used one of the stencils that came in the carving kit. Joseph was freelanced the old school way. I kind of prefer that, just a couple of triangles and a smile.

Winter Can Be Exciting

Living in Minnesota and not being a huge winter outdoor activity person can be annoying. I used to ski, but don't anymore. Mostly because it's a huge time and money suck. I'd go sledding, but don't really have the proper outdoors clothing. I love ice skating, but no one will ever go with me. Sigh. Plus, I've often found that in Minnesota when you want to do the outdoor activities, it's usually too freaking cold.

But, there are actually some really good indoor winter things that I am highly anticipating this winter. Here they are:

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One. Even though it's coming out more in fall than winter, I'm counting it as a winter activity because I probably won't see it for awhile. For one of the HP movies, Kara and I went on opening night and we were surrounded by geeks in costumes who talked throughout the entire movie. I prefer to wait on movies like this until the crowds have died down.
• Hubble omnitheatre movie at the Science Museum. I've heard it's awesome and I love the omnitheatre!
• Speaking of omnitheatre...Omnifest 2011.
• And, speaking of the Science Museum, they will play host to the King Tut exhibit starting in February.
• The Minnesota History Museum has a George Washington exhibit also opening in February. If it's anything like the Ben Franklin exhibit, it's sure to be a winner.
• Christmas time! I love everything Christmas. Wassail, tree decorating, writing out Christmas cards, traditional Christmas movies, cookie baking, present wrapping. I can't wait for all of that this year. I'm also hoping to catch either the Guthrie's Christmas Carol or one of the Nutcracker performances.
• Another thing beginning in February is an exhibit at the MIA with some Venetian paintings. I think this one could be a hit or miss kind of a thing. I usually like the MIA's exhibits, but think they are a little bit expensive.

Ultimately, I prefer the warmer months of the year, but with all of these things to fill up my wintery days, I'm hoping that these next few months go by quickly!

Stir-Fry A Go-Go

Remember a long ass time ago I talked about making a lifelist? Well, I did do that and then never really talked about it again. So, I'm bringing it back. Mostly because now I've got results. Here is lifelist #44: Learn How to Make A Good Stir Fry.

When I was little, my mom had a wok and she would make stir fry quite a bit. I always missed it. It's one of those meals that seems so difficult to make and you need this big pan to do it, but at the same time it's so good for you that you want to be able to make it any time you want.

About a year ago, my friend Becca moved to Korea and she had a "I'm Moving to Korea" sale. I bought this awesome wok from her. Then it sat on my shelf for about six months. Then I realized that there was a pretty decent recipe in my Martha Stewart Classics cookbook for chicken stir fry.

The results were AWESOME. Capital A. Here's some pics.

It's got the perfect blend of crunch, spice and saltiness. And non-vegetable eaters will actually eat their vegetables (I actually know this from experience). I'm not going to give away the recipe because I feel like that's really wrong, but the basics are: oil in pan with garlic, red pepper flakes and ginger and I think maybe something else. Then peppers (sweet and hot) and onions. Then carrots. Then broccoli and baby corn. Then mushrooms. Then the meat. The recipe calls for chicken, but I've used chicken and shrimp and both work perfectly. Then bean sprouts. Then some soy sauce, rice wine vinegar and balsamic vinegar.

If you like it extra spicy add some Sri Racha sauce.

The results are truly amazing. Now I'm an expert stir fry maker. Thanks lifelist!

I Have Questions

Does anyone else watch reality shows and have multiple questions running through their heads? I can't be the only one. Here are some of my questions:

1. On Man v. Food, how is that guy not way fatter? Also, how is he still alive?
2. On Survivor, what do the women do when it's their special time? And do they bring in waxers? Because honestly, I've watched that show in high def and there is no hair down there. And if you aren't waxing, there's always hair down there...ALWAYS.
3. On The Amazing Race, when do they eat? You never really see them eating meals, but they must do it. So, does the show provide the food and if not, do they have to take time out of the race to purchase and eat food or is it built in that every team has to take 30 minutes for lunch?
4. On any of the Real Housewives shows, how do they set up the events? Because they are all super contrived and sometimes it seems like the women don't even see each other outside of the show. For instance, did the producers tell Ramona to renew her vows with Mario, or did she go to the producers with that idea.
5. Why does it seem like the Project Runway judges always love the ugliest, cheapest looking shit? I'm sorry, but this season has broken me of the Project Runway love. Michael Costello's Statute of Liberty dress was plain, boring and totally unoriginal. And everything else he's made this season is the same.
6. I love how on America's Next Top Model, Tyra is one minute telling the models that they should embrace "themselves" and the next minute is telling them that "themselves" is going to get them kicked out of the show because it's not modelly enough. Which isn't really a question, more of a comment that Tyra is hysterically crazy.
7. Does anyone else notice that the model judge on Top Chef never has an opinion of her own. She always waits for the other judges to say something and then she agrees. Always.

There are more questions, I'm sure. But, reality television always puzzles me. Mostly because no one really talks about what goes on behind the scenes. I think an awesome idea for a book is to do a total expose on reality television shows.

Angela's Ashes

This is a really good book. It is filled with the sadness, though. And is in teeny tiny print, so it takes you an awful long time to read not that many pages. And you are depressed whilst you are reading not that many pages. What I'm saying is, this book almost broke me.

A few years ago, I suggested the Twilight series to a friend. I said they were just dumb, light, fast reads. Well, I guess she hated them. Months later I said something to her about what books she was reading and she said. "Nothing lately, Twilight ruined books for me and I haven't wanted to read anything since." I kind of felt like a shit and have never recommended Twilight to anyone since.

Anyhow, as much as I loved the writing and can see why this book is so good, it was sort of too much to take. The book details Frank McCourt's early years where his parents moved their brood from NYC back to their home country of Ireland. They had no money, the father was a drunk and couldn't keep a job, the mom was an enabler who couldn't stop getting pregnant and the kids kept dying. I kept thinking that no more kids could die, but then another one would pass away. Luckily the parents kept replacing them.

A lot of people compared this book to The Glass Castle and while I understand the comparison, I can't get on board with that. The Glass Castle was okay, but this book is gorgeous and tragic and so finely written that you can taste and feel and smell the squalor that surrounds the author. The Glass Castle did not have that effect. It is like The Glass Castle in that you want to smack the mother upside the head and sucker punch the dad.

I gave the book 3/5 or 8/10 stars. I rated it a bit lower because of the depression it sent me into, but if you like grim, it won't be so bad.