I'm A Failure

This picture shows the beginning of the month. So full of life, promise and gin gimlets. This month I made a very ambitious NME goal and today, one day before the end of the month, I can tell you I failed miserably. At the beginning of the month I had two crushes and I decided that I was going to get one of them to ask me on a date and the other I was going to find out his first name. Well both of these guys are dead to me now. I've only seen the former once since I made the declaration (and am now pretty sure he's got a girlfriend) and the latter has become something of a cocky asshole. Which basically means I failed, but want to blame someone else for my failures.

And blame away I will, it's healthier for me and my fragile self-worth. However, next month my goal is definitely going to be something very easy and attainable. I think it might involve sleeping and never getting out of my bed. Here's to a more goal-oriented April.

Fairies, Bad Marriages and Statutory Crimes

I have really stretched my mind and read 3 more books. It's actually been 4 because I snuck a second reading of Twilight in there just for good measure, but I'm not counting that since I already read it and since it's not really literature. It's more just fluff to make me feel worse about my own love life. Here are my reviews of the last 3 books I've read.

Stardust

I didn't know this was a book, but I loved the movie, so I thought what the hell. For some reason things like magic intrigue me and make me happy, and this book is full of magics! The plot goes a little something like this: A young boy is in love, but the girl's a stuck-up bitch and so he has to go trekking through some mysterious land to retrieve a star and win this girl's heart. Will this young man be victorious? Truth be told, in the end you don't really give a shit about the destination....it's more about the journey. Twists unfold and turns unravel and there's some comedy. This is one of those books that's like a really comfortable blanket, it feels good to wrap myself up in it, but there's not a whole lot else to say about it.

3/5 or 7/10 stars

Revolutionary Road

Did other people know about the ending of this book before they read it (or watched the movie)? For some reason I wasn't anticipating it and then the last 50 pages or so it just sort of smacks you upside the head. I won't say what the "it" is, but it's tragic and sad and depressing, but seems sort of right, like it was the only alternative for the character. This isn't a book with a hero, just two incredibly selfish and self-absorbed people who can't quite make it in the world. I love me some character-driven books and this is definitely one of those. The book centers around the Wheelers, the most uncomfortable and icy couple in the world. The tension between the two is out of control and then ten seconds later they love each other. It's so dysfunctional, but sadly, it makes sense.

4/5 or 8/10 stars

The Reader

This was a book that wanted me to think and, unfortunately, when I read it I wasn't in the mood for thinking. Why is a question that kept coming up while reading this book and I never really found the answers, but I didn't spend much time looking either. Why does this kid love this woman even after she treats him like garbage (and where can I find my own legal-aged one), why is Frau Schmitz so proud and dimwitted at her trial, why should I care about these people? I never really answered the last question and I think that was my main problem. There were so many intense issues that could have been developed so much more, but instead it was made simple, which might be beautiful, except I like complicated and confusing.

3/5 or 6/10 stars

I Feel Vindicated

I actually don't know if vindicated is the right word, but roll with me. And also time travel with me, because this story takes a little bit of setting up.

About 4 years ago I started having these problems when I would drink alcoholic beverages. And I know, lots of people have problems with the drink, but this was different. I wouldn't really have that much to drink, but would get violently ill and numb all over. I could feel the numbness wave through my body starting with the tip of nose and the tips of my fingers and then my arms and face would get tingly until I felt completely numb. Weird!

Anyhow, it ended up getting worse and to a point where not only was I violently sick and numb, but my hands started locking up. It was actually really scary. Hand locking is never a good thing, especially when you can't unlock them for 20 minutes and you can't feel your face. I was convinced that it had to be some kind of medical condition but family, friends and doctors were like you are crazy, you just had too much to drink. When I would insist that 3 drinks in 5-6 hours is not too much to drink, they would tell me I must have had more and couldn't remember or something. The NERVE!

Well, pop off bitches because I just found out that violent illness, numbness and hand locking from alcohol is actually a real condition. I don't have all the details on it, like the name, but just knowing that I'm a medical freak makes me super happy.