Monday, August 30, 2010

She's Come Undone

This book was equal parts fabulously wonderful and something that I was reading to get through. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but like with I Know This Much Is True, I think I was bothered by the length. I feel like maybe Wally could be helped by a little bit of editing. Because I want to know a lot about Dolores, and I want the history of her whole life so that I can understand her, but I don't need every minute detail. I want some things hidden away so that I can guess at them a little bit.

The writing, however, is marvelous and it's true what they say...How did a guy write a girl so well? Wally seems to get what this girl is going through at various stages of her life and through various traumas and it reads like a girl.

The book centers on young Dolores whose family is all broken up. Then she has lots of the traumatic stuff happen to her and she just starts eating. Her mom kind of allows her to just eat away her problems and she gets totally obese. Like morbidly obese. And she's not even in college. You can imagine the torment.

Then she goes to college and some weird stuff happens, but mostly it appears that she's getting a little bit crazy. For instance, she becomes obsessed with her roommates' ex-boyfriend and steals letters and naked pictures of him, which becomes important later because she slims way the eff down and moves to his hometown and then starts this relationship with him. So, that's a little bit strange and far too coincidental.

There was nothing about this book that I really didn't like and then again there was nothing that I was totally over the top about. I was glad when it was over and I could move on, but still glad that I read it.

4/5 or 7/10 stars.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Random Acts of Douchebaggery

This post is dedicated to Michael, happy birthday darling!

On our recent adventure to D.C. and Charleston, Mike and I had the pleasure of taking 5 plane trips. Let me just tell you that travelling by plane has sunk to an almost despicable experience. Mostly because of the constant barrage of RAD's going on all around you. I think I'll start with the most egregious.
On our way from D.C. to Charleston, we had to fly through the Atlanta airport to catch a connecting flight. Our flight touches down and there's that moment where they turn off the fasten seat belt sign and everyone lunges for the aisle. Y'all know what I'm talking about. For whatever reason, people just need to get to the aisle, even when you are in the back of the plane. It's like they think being in the aisle means they will get off the plane faster. I'll give you bitches a tip, it doesn't. The plane will disembark row by row.

When we landed in Atlanta the above woman decided that she had enough and not only was she going to lunge for the aisle, she was also going to bust through the crowded aisle to get to the front of the plane. I was standing in my row in the aisle seat (I didn't win the race to the actual aisle, mostly because I wasn't participating in the race) when all of a sudden I feel this enormous push by something large and fleshy. It was enough to actually knock me down to the seat. I look up and see what appears to be Ronald McDonald pushing her way up the aisle. I was shocked! So now, not only are people pushing their way to the aisle, they are actually pushing their way through the aisle. And she wasn't a slight little thing, so she actually had to push her way into spots where there wasn't any room.

Two rows in front of us, there was a lady in the aisle who was having none of this douchebaggery. The McDonald douche tapped her on the shoulder to try and get by and the lady stonewalled her. She just said "No." But this didn't stop her. She continued to try and push ahead and finally made it when the lady gave her a small opening so that she could get her bag from the overhead compartment.

Listen, I know what it's like to have connecting flights and be stressed that you won't make them. So, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she probably had a connecting flight. However, after I got off of the plane, (which was much later than the McDonald douche because she had budged her way at least 10 rows in front of me) I go into the bathroom and who is standing at the sink but the McDonald douche. Then when I left the bathroom she was just standing around. I couldn't believe it. She was in no hurry. She was simply pushing past people in the aisle so that she could get ahead. Classic act of douchebaggery.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Vacations are Awesome

While I was away I came up with a litany of amazing blog ideas. Everything from RAD's to Me On's to Book Reviews to just general random postings. Unfortunately, I cannot spend my days blogging away, so they are going to have to come out slowly but surely.

All in all, my vacation took me to Washington D.C. and Charleston, South Carolina and it was fabulous. Hot, sticky and fabulous. I saw a lot, ate a lot and generally frolicked in merriment all day long. Here is one such picture of me frolicking:
It's hard to tell from the picture, but I'm posing in front of a submarine. I love submarines. And seamen.

Now it's back to the grind and only 1 more week of August left. Sadness.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Me On: Eat, Pray, Love

This is not a book review. The main reason is because I've never read the book. Never have and never will. Eat, Pray, Love is not my thing. I won't mince words with you, my faithful blog readers, I think everything about Eat, Pray, Love is obnoxious.

I realize it's grossly unfair to characterize something as obnoxious when I haven't even read it. What can I say, I'm judging a book by it's cover. Actually, I'm not, because I kind of like the cover and I kind of like the title. It sings to me. But, I've talked to people who have read it and I've read articles on it and I can conclude that this book sounds like crap.

Now there's a movie based on the book, which also looks like crap. I mean, come on, a woman goes on this awesome journey to re-discover life through eating and praying and loving. Awesome. Sounds like it's better than Under the Tuscan Sun (ed. note, I'm being sarcastic).

My biggest problem with the book is that the author was able to take this awesome year-long vacation because of an advance that she was given by her publisher. That advance was for the writing of a book based on a woman's journey to re-discover life through eating and praying and loving. So, she pitched a book before she even had the experiences and then got a year-long vacation to Italy, India and Bali completely paid for. It sounds disingenuous, no? It would be one thing if she took the journey and then wanted to write about her experiences, but to go on a journey with the intention (and the obligation) to write a book makes it all seem contrived.

I've also read excerpts and it's way too flowery and over the top for me. I guess I don't understand how you can be eating pizza and all of a sudden realize some amazing and spiritual thing about life, love and destiny. Call me when you're eating Filet Mignon dipped in gold and then we'll talk. Pizza is delicious, but it's not spiritual. Not even Neapolitan pizza.

So, Elizabeth Gilbert, I don't buy into the hype. I will never think anything of this book other than that it's obnoxious and self-righteous. Not even Oprah can sell me on this one. And as I said, now there's a movie to ignore. But ignore it I will. Not even Julia Roberts can sell this swill to me.

My Vacation is Long Overdue

One thing I've learned since entering the working world is that taking a day of vacation makes me feel guilty. The guilt cripples me and I end up not taking vacation and I get maxed out and then I get angry. I get angry that I feel guilty for needing vacation time.

Since October 26, 2009, I have not taken more than a day off here and there. How awful is that? But I've got two vacations lined up, one starting next week and one in November. And even though I know that they are well earned, I still feel guilty for not being at work.

The other day I was on a different floor at work and was listening to a conversation between a worker bee and her supervisor regarding a doctor's appointment. The worker bee was almost pleading with her supervisor to take an hour off in a coming week for a doctor's appointment. I felt so angry for this woman. Why should she even have to ask to use sick time that she has earned? But I do it too. I feel like I need to state a reason for taking vacation or going to the doctor and I hate that I feel like that.
With all that being said I am so excited for my vacation starting this weekend. 3 days in Washington D.C. doing nerdy, historic things. Then 4 days in Charleston, South Carolina eating and looking at pretty homes. And sweating. I believe that I will be doing a lot of sweating next week. But it's all fine with me because I won't be at work, which is the best news I've heard in awhile.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Journey Into Imagination

This is not the best picture of the ride, but it was what I could find on short notice. Thank goodness I'll be back at the WDW in a few months to get more pics.

Let me start by stating the obvious...Journey Into Imagination is all about the kiddos. But it's sort of a Disney original, so even though the whole thing is very childish and sort of lame, I have to take a ride every time I'm at Epcot.

As I said, this ride is pretty lame. You get into this dumb car and journey into Figment's tripped out imagination. There's some fun effects, but ultimately the entire time I'm riding along I have this dumb smirk on my face. It's like if someone actually sees me on this ride, my reputation is totally ruined. This ride causes you to feel a lot of shame.

When I was kid, however, I loved this ride. Although, I know it was way different when I was younger, so I'm going to maintain that it was way better.

The real beauty of the ride comes after you get out of Figment's Imagination and into their Imagination Stations or whatever the hell they call them. They are fun, even as an adult, although adults will never be able to actually experience them because the little kids are always hogging them. But, they have all of these stations with different fun computer programs that you can play around with. Some play with sound, others with color. Ultimately you could spend hours back there.

If you are a kid 4/5, if you are an adult 1/5. If you are an immature adult, maybe a 2/5.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Random Acts of Douchebaggery

This is RAD - the bad waitress edition.

Every once in awhile I get into this terrible pattern where every restaurant I go to I get horrible, horrible service. Like abysmal. It usually happens when I'm frolicking in Duluth. Honestly, that city has the worst restaurant service of any place I've ever been to. No matter what restaurant you step into, big or small, chain or hole in the wall, fancy or the Green Mill, your waitperson will be snotty, your order will be mixed up, you will never be asked how your food is and you will wait at least 20 minutes after you finish eating for your plates to be cleared and your bill delivered.

Sorry...digression. Anyhow, lately my life has been all about bad service. But one experience was so shockingly and utterly terrible I just had to RAD it.

A couple of weekends ago was the Aquatennial (for those non MNers, it's the Festival of the Lakes in Minneapolis) and Mike and I were going to have dinner before the fireworks. We wanted sushi and decided to head down to the St. Anthony Main area so we could get parking and a good spot to watch the fireworks. We decide we want sushi and go to Kikugawa. Now, I had gotten a cold that week and was not feeling awful, but still had the sniffles. We walk in and the A/C is blasting at an uncomfortable level, I mean it was frigid and me without my sweater. That was strike one.

Then we go to order and I order a diet coke and a water, Mike orders a beer. A while later the waitress brings the beer, diet coke and 2 waters. So, at least she did that right.

We order and I ask her a question about a particular sushi roll that I was ordering. I believe the question was "Is this one an inside out roll?" I was almost positive it was, but wanted to be sure. She said she didn't know and would go ask. Strike 2. It's a sushi restaurant and that's not a tough question.

The worst part of the story comes next. I was very thirsty. First of all I have the sniffles and my throat is a little scratchy, then I'm dumping salty soy sauce onto my sushi rolls with liberal amounts of wasabi. I need something to drink. My diet coke had been empty since the first sushi roll went into my mouth. 4 rolls later and it still wasn't refilled. Here's the proof:

That poor glass is just begging for more delicious Diet Coke. I can hear it screaming "Feed Me!" Plus if you notice the water glass half empty. That was actually Mike's water glass which he later offered to me. Mine was emptied a long time ago. Strike 3.

But this place wasn't done with us yet. Oh no. Mike and I sat at our sorry little table in the freezing cold with no liquid to our names for a helluva long time and couldn't buy a waitress to stop and give us our bill. Our waitress was nowhere to be found. At this point I'm convinced that she wasn't actually a waitress, just a crazy lady who wandered in from the river wearing a kimono and the peeps in charge of the place put her to work. So, Mike has had enough and gets up and has to hunt down another lady in a kimono to ask her for our bill. Which is have to beg to pay someone.

Of course, our bill comes almost immediately, along with the waitress who had abandoned us for the last 30-40 minutes asking if there was anything else we wanted. Um, no bitch...I think that ship has sailed.

Bad service is the worst and I think the people and places should be outed.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Holy S!@#, it's August

I'm using a gorgeous summer night sky to lament the fact that I'm sad summer is coming to a quick close. I know that fall is awesome and fun and I'm not not looking forward to it, but I am a summertime gal and I will miss warm nights where the sun is with us until 10:00 and wearing flip flops all day every day. But, I will certainly enjoy this month whilst I can.

I celebrated August's Eve by going to the Lowertown Music Festival (if you were there, you might refer to it as Faint Fest 2010 because people were going down left and right). It was a fun night of MN bands, Summit beer, fainting and cheese curds. I'm not even kidding, one old man went down right in front of me. I'm always amazed that people can catch fainters. The guy who fainted in front of me sort of sagged and then the guy next to him had his arms around him and helped him to the ground while he was unconscious. I can imagine that if I ever faint, I'm going down like a sack of and furious style. Anyhow, the festival was fun and I bid adieu to July in style.

There are many things to look forward to in August. Namely vacation (YAY!), Michael's birthday, the new Ray LaMontagne CD, gearing up for fall television and shopping for fall clothes.

I think my NME resolution for August will be to enjoy every last drop of summer.