Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Feb's Eve Goal: Become A ...

"People ask the question...what's a RocknRolla? And I tell 'em - it's not about drugs, drums, and hospital drips, oh no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of the good life - some the money, some the drugs, other the sex game, the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why? Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot."

This February people better watch out because this movie will become like my new bible. I will consult the movie to make all of my life decisions. Why will I do this? Because this move is A-MAZ-ING!! (And if you were hearing my voice just now singing the word Amazing in an operatic tone then you know me very well. Kudos and gold stars for you!)

It's amazing for many reasons, but here's the top three:
1. The dance scene - if you see it you will know what I'm talking about.

2. The chase scene - ditto, and bravo to Guy Ritchie for making me laugh harder than any comedy movie has ever made me laugh (and btw, this is not a comedy movie).

3. Mark Strong - he plays Archie and I want to have his babies. Lots of little badass, rocknrolla babies.

Feb's Eve will be all about a new outlook on life. This movie is my new outlook, except less violent and with much more awkward dancing.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

People are Weird About Books

People really are kind of strange about books. For instance, some people will only read a certain type of book or a certain author or books that aren't over 100 pages and they read thousands of these and call themselves "well-read". Books are like cereal to me, there's so much goodness to choose from I cannot commit myself to one brand or flavor.

Anyhow, I've found out that there's a whole community of people out there who participate in "book challenges". You go to a website and it will say something like "Read 5 long Russian novels in 6 months." And then you sign up and give the names of the Russian novels and at the end of it you either feel like a complete success or a complete failure! But lists are involved, so automatically I feel like this is something that I need to be a part of. Because am I wrong or is there no other satisfaction like checking something off of a list.

Well, this year I am going to join these freaks in their book challenges. Except, I'm not going to commit myself to "Russian novels", "chick-lit" or the "100 books in a year challenge". I'm just going to start a challenge where I read books and we'll see how many I get to.

First Up:

I started the LOTR trilogy about a year ago and finally finished. Fellowship of the Rings was great, The Two Towers was like swimming through molasses in January and The Return of the King was great (except the second to last chapter "The Scouring of the Shire", which was unnecessary and dull, I really don't care about hobbits...only elves).

As I was reading the book I realized that I don't remember the movie at all. What I do remember about ROTK was being so embarassed in the movie theatre because I was bawling at the end of it and couldn't control myself. The book was no different. But, I still don't get it and *SPOILER ALERT* is going to the grey havens just another way of saying I'm going to die? But seriously, what I don't get is Bilbo had that ring for years and he was able to live for a long time (he's bat shit crazy at the end, but still livng and btw, can you imagine what he's like in Rivendell? I'm sure he's the crazy uncle that everyone ignores, but the elves must just be like WTF are we doing with this guy?) so why not Frodo?

And also, does it seem to anyone else like Gandalf maybe doesn't know as much or have as much power as we would think he does? Either that or he's just kind of a shitty friend because he's always abandoning hobbits in their time of need. The only power we ever really see from Gandalf is his ability to make fireworks and that was when he was Gandalf the Grey. I kept thinking come on something cool and're Gandalf the White now. And then he wouldn't do anything except talk and that wouldn't get much accomplished.

Anyways, I can check this book off my list now. And I'll give it 5/5 stars, or 8/10 stars. You pick.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

2009 Comes with Mice

That's right...mice. The other day I was relaxing at home when I saw a mouse scamper out of my bedroom closet and under my bed. I screamed, twice. Then I saw another (or the same, who can tell) mouse run around in the closet. He didn't make it out because I screamed again and he ran back in. Of course they would have to infest the closet, out of every other room, that's where all of my investments are stored.

Since I never asked for a roommate, I went out and bought this unwanted houseguest a nice buffet of poisonous pills to dine on for the evening. I generously scattered the pills throughout my apartment and left my little squatter to dine in peace while I went out drinking.

I'm trying to think positive, but 2009 just doesn't seem like it's going to be my year.