Monday, December 22, 2008

Things I Don't Understand

I haven't recently done a post on actual "New Month" related activities, so I'm doing this one to ask the magical genie for another 2009 wish. This time I would like one (or more) of these confusing life mysteries to be cleared up for me.

1. Crocs - I can't believe people wear these as like, actual shoes. Whenever I see someone wearing crocs, my first thought is, they must not own a mirror. And I know that some of you own and wear crocs and I know that many of you will say things like "But I'm in healthcare", or "But they're so comfortable". Those are not excuses to me.

2. Hannah Montana - What is this about? Seriously, it makes me very uncomfortable.

3. Lindsay Lohan's job - I see her picture on gossip sites almost everyday shopping at places that are hawking seriously expensive goods. And yet, she doesn't appear to work...EVER! I'm hoping to become superficial friends with her so that she can teach me her secret to doing nothing and making a ton of money at it. (I feel the same way about Mischa Barton).

4. Trader Joe's - Everything I've ever bought at Trader Joe's tastes terrible...and I've bought a lot of things there. People must not have gotten the memo on this or they must not care because the parking lot at that place is always packed. I just don't understand driving around for 20 minutes in a parking lot looking for a place to park in order to buy food that tastes like sawdust.

5. Jodi Picoult books - I had never heard of this author and then one day at Target I was looking for a book and she had about 70 different titles on the bookshelf. I looked at the covers of all 70 and thought, these look terrible. Then I found out that they are actually super popular. They still look terrible.

There's a list of 5 "life mysteries" (as my brother would say) that I would like cleared up in the new year, but preferably in the new month because I'm impatient.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Twilight - the movie.

I can't go on any longer without publicly commenting on this movie. I just can't hold it in, much like Bella and Edward's love for each other, I must give in.

So, yes, I read the Twilight book in 3 days because I couldn't put it down. And yes, I was somewhat embarrassed about it. Even more embarrassing was the fact that I immediately ran out and purchased books 2, 3, and 4 and couldn't put those down. So, I spent about 2 weeks reading the Twilight series.

Then I learned about the movie and how they had cast the hotness that is Cedric Diggory (did I mention that my alias Moaning Myrtle saw him naked in a huge bathtub at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?) as the lead character and I was pretty pumped about this movie. Then I saw the trailer...and my heart sank and soared. I thought the movie would be awesomely bad and I always secretly love movies that are awesomely bad and watch them repeatedly and obsessively. So, I was excited for this movie, but a little bummed because I thought the movie had the potential to be really great.

Much to my chagrin, the movie was neither awesome nor awesomely bad, it was just meh. It was like dipping diamonds in mud and calling them rocks. There's potential there to be so very good, but the actual presentation was nothing special. It was also very low budget, i.e. the Cullen's are supposed to have more money than God himself and yet Edward is wearing the same shirt throughout the entire movie?! WTF?

Worse than all of this was the lead actress who almost had me leave the theatre in a rage. She's so not good at what she does, I mean seriously, homegirl better rethink the day job. When I got around to reading reviews of the movie, I thought critics would be in agreement because while I'm no expert on acting, I can recognize someone who has little talent (I claimed Mischa Barton was a terrible actress on the first day of The OC). CRITICS ARE NOT IN AGREEMENT WITH ME! In fact, they love her, they think she's the most wonderful up-and-coming actress on the planet, perfectly cast and acted for the role of Bella Swan. I don't get it, does anyone else understand this insanity?

2008, Please Get Out of My Life

I feel like 2009 has to be a great year, it just has to be. I had really high hopes for 2008, but it blew. Both personally and meteorologically. I'm sure it blew in other ways as well, but I'm too tired for adjectives.

I think 2009 has a lot of exciting things in store and I can't wait to give 2008 the boot. After all 12/31 is sort of the granddaddy of all new month's eve, so it should be celebrated champagne style. On that note, I'm curious about some NYE resolutions...last year, mine was to simplify life and live more puritan style. I failed miserably. I wanted this really calm year and instead I got chaos and emotional fuckery. I hate both of these things.

My 2009 NYE resolution is going to be to have the worst year possible. I figure I'm going to go at this from a "George Costanza" opposites angle. I'm going to try and have the worst and most stressful year and maybe then things will start to look up. I'll keep y'all updated!