Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Asexual Messiah

If you didn't know me in college, this might not make sense. But, it doesn't need to make sense to be true. Right Grace? On a side note, I think the title of his book Unsafe at Any Speed is a secret nod to the current asexual movement. SEX-- UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED. I bet he thought of that while watching Chicken Run.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Leap Into March

Get It....Cause it's Leap Year. And it's on a Friday. Holla!

Anyway, there's a tradition dating back to England or somewhere over in Europa where Leap Year was the only acceptable day for a woman to make a proposal of marriage to a man. Further if the dude rejected that proposal he had to soften the blow by providing the woman with a kiss, one pound currency and a silk gown. I think in modern times this translates to a french kiss (hey, I'm a prude), a hundred bones and a Louis Vuitton handbag.

There will be a lot of lucky guys receiving marriage proposals from me. Or at least those two who will return my phone calls.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

NME Resolutions

Some people have been asking me just how to make a NME Resolution. And by some people I mean no one, but NME Resolutions are entertaining so I'm going to tell you how to make them.

STEP 1: Don't try to save the world with your resolution. You're not Gandhi. Just say you want to eat more Chipotle in the new month and call it a day.

STEP 2: Don't repeat resolutions more than one month in a row. For example (and this is of course hypothetical), if my NME Resolution in January was to make out with a random guy, I can't make that my resolution for February. March, however, is negotiable. Like my dignity will be when I make that my March Resolution.

I would have included more steps, but making resolutions isn't that complicated.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

February - In Like a Whore

Seriously, I'm cranky and February has been a bitch to me. All I have to say is Boo, you whore (except Becca, only her, Jacob and the Chatterbox Pub know why). I meant to post that 6 days ago.